Monday, June 5, 2017

The Abyss of Self-Victimization

There is no doubt of the tremendous effects that lifes circumstances have upon us, effects which sometimes can only be perceived a long time afterwards....

But even though they get immune from our perception, at least temporarily, there is a very important element which links directly to them and is completely perceivable and yet gives us a hard time realizing and accepting it.            I am talking about self-victimization.

First of all, it is hard to realize it exists because it bounds so intimately to lifes dissapointments and traumatic experiences, that it generates a continuous reason to feel bad (weather it involves sadness, anger, anxiety or else) with situations from the present and future, some alike the ones that caused us the traumas and dissapointments and some completely different.

Such situations bring us reasons but more than that, they bring back the negative charge that was generated in the past and such charge keeps on building itself in the name of reason/motive, which is wore like a mask so we do not notice the harm we do to ourselves by self-victimization is way worse than the actual situations that occur.

To accept it exists is far from easy, because although we want to overcome what haunt us, we strongly hold on the haunting because it creates a sense of deserving justice/revenge and such sense makes us thirsty for them, while also making us more sensitive, weak and susceptible to more emotional disturbance

Therefore, our present reactions concerning certain situations, our current way of feeling bad when confronting certain circumstances, our bad habits, lack of confidence and hope and so on,  might have roots in the past, in particular events that happened and had the impact of changing us during the moment they happened and continue changing us because self-victmization wires us to them. 

To understand all this, means we are a step closer towards recovery.

There are countless horrible and traumatic situations, both emotional and physical, which none can be measured and which only the hearts that go through them understand completely what it feels like and each heart is different in acting, reacting and perceiving but nevertheless, self-victimization is independable on who we are and what generated it in the first place.

The key to its success might lie on the fact that hearing about it from someone towards us or having the thought that we do self-victimization causes us anger because it instantaneously connects us to that negative baggage that kept getting heavier with time. Remember !!! That this baggage presents itself as reasons/motives and that´s how self-victimization persuades us, camouflaging and generating a false feeling of self-protection.

But why is it false ?

It is false because instead of helping us overcome, it draws us closer and deeper into what hurt us, because it feeds the idea that we have the right to feel we have been deceived, abused and hurt. While it is true we have such right, it never lets us let go of the hurting because it makes us await for some kind of retribution towards others or consolation prize towards ourselves.

While we spend life on this endless waiting, we ignore the fact that we do not overcome past situations because we do not have enough strength but because we choose not to overcome

We do not make such choice conciously at first but as soon as we realize and accept that self-victimization exists in us (if it does), we are concious and from then on, our choices are not a product of persuation by something but are our own

I hope by now, you have understood how dangerous and persuasive self-victimization is and that you are ready to break free from it and overcome what still haunts you

Accepting it, does not conflict with the power that past situations had to hurt us and how unjust they were. It simply allows us to see that the reasons the situations bring at particular moments might be smaller than what is continuously being generated within (even though the situations ceased existing) afterwards

Self-victimization can be perceived explicitly when we begin feeling bad when hearing about something or someone, when thinking about the past bad situations, when going through something the resembles something that happened before or that makes us connect both situations even if they have nothing in common

Or 

It can be perceived in small details, when we silently deny that any of our attitudes, bad habits and emotional instability has root in particular events from the past, when we put the problems others make us go through above the problems we generate for ourselves and so on ...

All of the above mean we have not entirely overcome the past. If you are familiar with anything that's been described, do not despair and fall into self-victimizations ultimate weapon, fear .
When our eyes are finally open, it (self-victimization) induces fear upon us, to force us to choose the easiest way, the way of denial. It does so because when we are afraid, we do not realize the fear of our enemy and self-victimization is our enemy

Once you break free from it, you will start to notice your strength, strength that was repressed by the thirsty for justice/revenge/retribution/consolation prize that self-victimization causes.

No matter how great and hurtful the experiences you have encountered, once you stop generating difficulties for yourself, you begin to have a clear vision of the power of what haunts you and the power you have

And understand that it only has power over you as long as you do not reclaim what is emprisoned within yourself, the will to live a more peaceful and happy life ! Which is lost throughout time.

Such will is obscured by self-victimization that wants nothing more than to keep you in a vicious cycle of waiting, denial and fear. This way, you do not use what you have, the strength capable of turning any victim into a warrior, into a winner

Look within yourself and understand yourself and how your past affects you !!!

Know your enemies and be a warrior
Know your strength and be a winner

Emerge from the abyss of self-victimization

You can !

Sunday, May 7, 2017

Inspire And Get Inspired

Each source of hearing and vision stimulates our subconcious and some are so deep or intense that influence us in our conscious state by promoting changes in language behaviour; habits behaviour; emotional and psychological behaviour.

For some of us, a negative stimulation might have a greater impact than positive ones. For instance, when we approach someone who responds to us out of rage or rudeness, it might cause us to lose the tranquility we had before (which not necessarily happens instantaneously, nervousness can be stocked within building itself up over time until it can no longer be contained) and stimulate us to act or desire to act the same way,  it´s as if "if you cannot beat the enemy, join them" and the enemy is not the person but the fruit of emotion that led the person to present such behaviour.

Yet the same length of stimulation or inspiration is not always present when we find situations (weather from our reality or not) that send out positive inspirations.

Perhaps, it´s because the negative stimulations tend to stick more into our conscience. Whereas, the positive ones are enjoyed and appreciated on one hand but on the other hand vanish from our minds almost instantaneously. Thus, we don´t mentally spend time over them as we do over negative stimulations.

For negative stimulations to influence us, they need us to not understand their nature and how they work to get control of us and once in control of us because they increase their manipulative power according to the level of void in perception and understanding we have of them.

On the other hand, positive inspirations increase as we extend our perception and understanding. The less perception and knowledge we have about positive sources of inspiration, the more likely doubts will emerge to trick us into not allow ourselves to get positively inspired as much as we can. Therefore, since negative inspirations need our voidness in understanding, they use manipulative mechanisms to trick us in order to survive and develop within us. Whereas positive inspirations need our understanding to flourish and ramificate.

Our knowledge decreases the effects and efficiency of the negative stimulations we encounter, we maintain tranquility (not only in behaviour but mentally, since repressed negative emotions cause extreme damage) and are able to act the opposed way... If encounter rudness, we give kindness; if encounter selfishness, we give empathy; if encounter rage, we give serenity and so on.

The more understanding, the more we see the great powers of triumph of positive fruits, not just for preserving our well-being but also inspiring others to calm down if they´re in rage; to consider others next time instead of turning away; to be polite to others despite their afflicting problems and so on.

This way, we build a positive web that reaches beyond our personnal linkages and encounters, and increase the chance of diminishing surrounding negative stimulations for ourselves and for others.

This understanding exists when we not only perceive the obvious effects of negative and positive attitudes (in form of action, thought or emotion) but also allow ourselves to extend our perception to understand not only the outcome of being inspired positively or negatively but also the connections that such inspirations make inside us.

Since one negative or positive emotion or state of being is always linked to another... Anxiety - Nervousness; Worry - Fear; Anger - Apathy; Love - Peace; Patience - Calmness; Generosity - Kindness and so on. Connections which determine the outcome of situations and the outcome of our mental health by the time the situations are over.

Based on such understanding, we manage to turn situations around, from negative to positive, perhaps not always entirely but in a way that we don´t get emotionally damaged and not add more fuel to the fire that burn us all.

The world around us teach a lot of bad things but there´s a lot of good lessons to learn from it as well, it´s up to us to perceive them and not let them escape and vanish from our minds.

A positive inspiration by something we see, think, read or hear can help us gather a level and extension of knowledge we couldn´t imagine possible before and by now if you ask yourself how, perhaps you should consider contrasting the opposite sides:

For instance, if you saw an act of kindness, imagine that the person acted based on anger or rudeness, such attitude could only be generated by a damaged emotional state but with kindness the person put themselves above their afflicting problem and did not get negatively inspired. Thus did not inspire the negative as well. This is the real strength, when we are capable of such accomplishment.

We all have such capability but we have to believe and persevere with knowledge and practice because only one or the other favors contractions about what we want/need and what we actually do.

Behind attitudes, there´s a world of webs of emotions and thoughts that interconnect with each other to determine outcomes.

It´s essential to understand such connections within ourselves and be conscious of the good ones and their benefits and the bad ones and their damaging effects and tricks, because on contrary to chemistry of inorganic substances, negative emotions and thoughts attract more negative as the positive ones attract more positive. However, when we have self-control and knowledge to see how negative emotions and thoughts trick us into cultivating them, we´re even able to get positively inspired by surrounding negative stimulations, because by understanding what generated it in a person or persons, we protect ourselves from having the same or worst happen to us... We don´t absorb the negative stimulations but cultivate and send out positive inspirations generated by ourselves by our own internal reasons.

So let yourself know the internal corners of your being, get inspired by your own and other´s positive attitudes but also positively inspired by the negative ones. Knowledge will pave the way but you have to walk or inertia will hold you in frustration from reaching your true potential.

Inspire And Get Inspired !!!


Friday, March 24, 2017

Transcendence Over Denial

For Reflection: 

It is more convenient to treat symptoms than to treat actual causes and when symptoms are minor, they are easily ignored.

The body reveals symptoms from our biological system
as attitudes reveal symptoms from our mental state.

As minor physical symptoms can reveal great problems, 
so does minor non-good attitudes reveal great threats, threats against our own well-being.

Apathy: The action of indifference towards someone else's pain, hardship or misleading. If the heart is uncapable of feeling for someone (anyone, including strangers), it doesn't feel remorse when it generates an attitude hurtful to others.

Apathy is a doorway to lying, by lying we use each other and the gains of it bring denial as an attempt to comfort the mind. 

Using: Lifeless objects are made for using, not beings of life. Yet we've been engaging in friendships, relationships and businesses in which benefits are not intended to be mutual or close to mutual but only to get us to receive more and give less, to feel superior and others inferior, to control relations not by essence of the heart but by convenient strategies that unable us to use others to achieve some kind of success.

The usage of words from doubt and falseness to affirm something to generate gains is a tool of convincing others of non-existent Love, Care and Sincerity.

When we deprive others of such fruits by giving them the impression they exist, we also deprive ourselves of living what we receive to the full potential, in a deeper and purer sense. In which, there's no conflict between what's concealed in our hearts and what we receive from the outside.

That being said, no matter how great amount of wonderful things we receive by using others and lying to them, it does not promote well-being and the first principle of happiness is well-being, regardless of any aspect of believe (religious or scientific) or style of life.

Perhaps the modern man's dissatisfaction comes from this whole world of non-existant aspects promoted to create a better reality, perhaps that's why relationships are easily broken and friendships easily dismantled. 

Lying: It has become an almost daily activity and serves several purposes, life's circumstances usually are seen as what pushes us to it, so we can: take advantange on someone; help hide someone's mistake; get better grades by cheating; convince someone we did something we didn't; convince someone we didn't do something we did. All this in order to escape problems or avoid some sort of uncomfortable situation but how can we feel comfortable if our mind is deceived as well ? 

It is deceived because although we know our untruthful acts, we manipulate our mind to look at the gains and ignore the means by which they were obtained, even if it's composed of the suffering and misleading of others.

Nevertheless, our denial of the bad seeds we plant and bad fruits we spread, in the end we know that our achievements are based on lies and pain we generate in others by the consequences of our dishonesty.

Remember ! Nobody heals by hurting others; Nobody becomes strong by diminishing others; Nobody is truly happy by inflicting pain in someone else's heart. Remember !

When we lie to others, we also lie to ourselves and whatever advantange is gained, minor or major, it is the product of a non-existant reality. Thus if something doesn't exist, it cannot contribute to our well-being 
But lying is a beast of many heads. Hence denial is born.

Denial: It's a convenient tool to avoid facing what makes us dissapointed and ashamed of ourselves. The usage of denial twists our perception of reality. It makes us believe that admitting flaws and mistakes diminishes us when in fact what really diminishes us is not acknowledging them.

By denying our bad attitudes, we condition ourselves to move towards an unstable and weak mental/emotional state. This happens so because we don't allow ourselves to face our own conciousness about the things we've done. In this case, everytime we do something dishonest, we accumulate denial and in turn accumulate weakness.

Those who don't fight, don't get strong !
This is the basic principle why denial instead of strengthening us, weakens us.

With time, the fear of facing our own conciousness drives us away from even perceiving dishonest attitudes as bad and so we become almost machanized to fill up desiring voids no matter what needs to be done and when we have no consideration for other people's feelings and life situation they are found in, we end up damaging and ruining them for benefits for ourselves.

Benefits which although stimulate more denial by making it easier to do so, also brings the constant feeling of dissatisfaction because denial can hide what we don't wanna face but cannot erase it.

When we toss aside peace of spirit, the accomplishments based on dishonesty can be immense and yet not able to reduce the feeling of dissatisfaction.

On the other hand, when we trascend over denial, we learn that in order to enhance ourselves, we need to stop diminishing ourselves( by denying reality); in order to strengthen ourselves, we shouldn't take admitting mistakes as a weakness but the denial of them as one.

Trascendence over denial shall bring the true enjoyment and satisfaction of our accomplishments because in the process, no falseness we generated, no heart we hurt and so reality is not split in two pieces but stays as one, one that we feel happy about.