Self-DiagnosisAfter all you've read, you might ask "How do I know if some of my behaviours are part of the mechanism to release excessive negative emotions initially imprinted in me by a past trauma?"
Well, first of all, some traumas might be so buried inside, long distant from our conscience that it's difficult to remember, but we don't need to worry about that
There's one question you should ask yourself: Do I have a craving for something during an uncomfortable situation or after accumulation of unpleasant situations at work for example or else?
It doesn't have to be a craving that is instantly fulfilled or fulfilled at all, you could only have the desire, it's enough to identify that desire as being a craving suppose to act as the mechanism to release excessive negative emotions
We all have cravings and not necessarily they are used to release negative emotions. That's why once you identify your craving/cravings and what are the circumstances around the time those cravings overwhelm you, you should not fulfill the craving and/or send the desire for the craving away from your mind. Once this is done, examine yourself, understand how you feel and what you feel. If you feel agitated, nervous, anxious, angry, sad, worried, there's a great chance that such craving (acted upon or just desired) was going to be used to stop you from feeling that negative emotion/emotions
During your self-examination, be aware that it might only take a few seconds or minutes and sometimes could be very subtle (like a burst of agitation that comes strong but gets lost amidst your fantasy thoughts). You might just feel agitated (in disharmony, unquiet, uncomfortable) with no apparent particular emotion associated, but if you dwell for a moment on the agitation, you shall know if it's because of anxiety, sadness, anger, worry or an interaction of them
The road to liberationAnd now comes the road to liberation:
Try to remember the first times you experienced that latest negative emotion that has bothered you, if you can't, then remember the latest experiences. Now remember how it made you feel and act, it's quite rare for us to act completely normal (in harmony) when a negative emotion screams inside us, although we can hide from others.
Now, if you can recognise any distress you caused in others during those experiences and the problems and tension that aroused, play out in your mind the same situation but this time make yourself have the opposite reaction that you had, if you had anger now have serenity and understanding, if you had anxiety now have serenity and patience, if you had sadness now have self-confidence and put yourself above sadness, in a state of peace. Then, develop the rest of the story with a positive outcome.
Now after doing this, do you realize that if you felt and acted differently than you did, you could have saved yourself from a lot of problems, streess and tension? It is so even if you didn't (consciously in order to hide from others or not) cause distress in others, because even if you don't completely act out the negative emotion, your behaviour changes and most importantly, your state of being changes and such changes have the potential to impact future experiences (related or not to what caused you to be in a damaging state of being). This way, more problems and tension accumulate and the more you'll find relief in releasing the excess of negative emotions without treating the problems
Liberation from negative emotions past events imprinted in us can only come after we see the results that such liberation would cause, otherwise we wouldn't even recognize a need for liberation. That's why it's important to play out past experiences in our minds but us having a positive state of being causing a positive outcome out of the situation. I know lots of outcomes of situations didn't/don't depend entirely on us because others play their part as well, and it won't erase dissapointments for example and consequences we suffered/will suffer, but it can make us realize that if we acted differently, others would have acted differently, and it would be easier for us to overcome and move on, but even if others wouldn't act differently, by our actions alone the outcome would be less damanging. On contrary, the more damanging emotions overwhelm us, the harder it is to move on
I know this exercise of playing out past experiences in the mind but act more positive, change others's behaviour and have a more positive or at least less damanging outcome is very difficult if the people involved or the action against us itself do not allow us to forgive them or forgive the very act independently of who it was. That's why now I appeal to you to reflect upon forgiviness after going through this message by going here: https://journeytoyourendless.blogspot.com/2014/08/forgiveness-is-key.html
Most people see traumas as being huge horrific events, but how can you measure how horrific and how big it has to be to be a trauma? We can't. Traumas can be developed even from apparently small events because what matters is not how big the event seems to be but how much it was able to imprint in us a negative emotion, and let's be frank, when we are young, we are not emotionally and mentally mature. This way, lots of events could be considered traumatic, because they had the strength to imprint in us what today destroyes us. By the time we get to our 20's and 30's we can become a big stock for negative emotions, and being so accostumed to them, we end up accepting without bothering, and this is why they keep on growing and we don't break the looping and find liberation
After you analyse your behaviour and cravings, you might discover that lots of things you like to do are unconciously being used to release excessive negative emotions, but don't worry and especially don't get paranoid or desperated. If those cravings are healthy and truly do you good, like playing a sport or watching a tv/net series, once you liberate from traumas, they won't be used to release excessive negative emotions anymore, this way you'll be able to better appreciate them and even be positively inspired, and not count on them to get emotional/mental relief which just keeps feeding the looping and distances you from liberation
After the time you spent on part I and now part II of this message, I truly hope you try to apply this in your life. I know traumas are complex and hurtful and sometimes makes you feel ashamed to even recognise them as traumas because you might tend to make yourself look strong, but the thing is you are strong, and being emotionally and mentally unprepared to go through the situations that were traumatic for you (imprinted negative emotions in you) does not make you weak, you're strong for having survived them but now you have a chance to be wise to move on from them, allow yourself to take it...