Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Selectability As a Driver For Self-Destruction

Being and acting selectively may be convenient and go along with what pleases us but it can have catasthophic consequences. By avoiding to look at a part of ourselves that compose hard unpleasant truths, we cannot overcome what disturbs us because we need to see the whole picture in order to understand and only through understanding, overcoming can come

Idolizing joy and pleasure in order to deny and hide from hard truths within is a defense mechanism on a concious level but an auto-destructive mechanism on a subconcious level

Physical harming allows us to change our perception from the hurting within to the hurting of the body and the use of chemical substances allows us to temporarily find relief from the pain within.

So even though we conciously know these ruin us, subconciously we associate physical harming, chemical substance use and other vices and compulsion for joy and pleasure with relief from the hard truths within and so we are able to go on without shutting down our social life and social obligations

And on top of that, there are reactions we implement in life that act as drivers that empower all these actions that provide temporary relief and long-lasting negative effects: 
Super numbness:  It acts as a shield, allowing us to avoid continuing to get hurt and dissapointed but also acts as an oppressive dictator that does not allow us to develop within what is essential for a life of happiness. It is usually a constructed reaction built within, by choice

Developing a numb/cold personallity makes us lose the perception of the beauty stored within, which leads to the feeling of not deserving to get better. It (being numb) creates the illusion of strength because it associates indifference/coldness with emotional strength, because as there is no crying, no desperation, no dwelling in pain, we believe it means strength, when in fact it means weakness because such accomplishments(not rarely achieved by repression) are done by the fear that makes us deny hard truths and feelings within

Super sensitivity: It provides liberality for us to develop within what is essential for a life of happiness but also provides open doors and windows for us to get greatly hurt and dissapointed. It is usually a constructed reaction built within not by choice but by incapability to become numb/cold and thus it is common for those of us who are super sensitive to wish to become super numb

The emotional stage of being super sensitive either creates fear in us to recognize our shameful behaviour towards ourselves or make us extremely suitable for self-guilt (which leads to feeling of not deserving to get better). Either way, it (being super sensitive) creates the illusion of weakness, it associates feelings with weakness, because subconciously the idea that those who care end up suffering is planted because supposedly others will always be able to take advantage but in fact, caring means strength, as long as it is not directed to dependency on others, because if so, it feeds weakness, but it itself is not a weakness

The feeling of not deserving to get better/be happy:

Its source is self-guilt. 

Have you ever felt you didn´t deserve to get better or to be happy or to have success after you made mistakes or remembered mistakes or after someone pointed a finger at you ? If you did, it is no random feeling because as time goes by and you find yourself in a life of more troubles than peace, those expressions(mistakes and failures) start to convince you that you don´t deserve to get better or to have happiness because you make so many mistakes frequently. But there is something you need to understand:

The expressions you make that turn out to induce, create or expand problems/arguments/difficulties are not mere reactions to what´s going on in your life and around you but are symptoms from what goes on within yourself.

Both (super sensitivity and super numbness) provide a benefit and a malice but there is a third way, through which we can develop what is essential for happiness without being vulnerable to fall and dwell in pain.     How ?

Through self-respect and self-recognition

Self-respect: By respecting others you do not disrespect yourself : Being polite, loving and understanding to others do not stop you from being the same with yourself, you give yourself a hand when you need as you give others when they need, you encourage yourself as you encourage others

Self-recognition: You recognize the good you have and the good you do and your sincere regrets when you make mistakes and your efforts to avoid making mistakes, independently if others recognize all that or not.  You do not condemn yourself saying "I didn´t do enough"; "I can´t"; "I am not strong enough", you don´t devalue your efforts when you fail, you don´t take for granted the good you have and do, even when others take for granted.      How ?

Take a look within and see the beauty stored in there. Such beauty may not be always expressed or may rarely be expressed, thus others cannot see it or when it is expressed, it may not be appreciated by others but that does not grant it less importance, it just means that there are certain attributes within us that keep us from expressing more of the beauty we have and there are certain attributes in others that keep them from appreciating true beauty (essential instead of superficial)

Self-respect and super sensitivity : To be super sensitive means that sadness obscures reasons we have to respect ourselves, it creates an overwhelming overload of emotions that build a wall in front of our critical/rational thinking, so that we do not access it.

Self-recognition and super numbness : Being numb consequently leads to the devalue of beautiful feelings and even incapacity to perceive them within, it creates a shadow within us and thus everytime we look at it, we believe it is us and therefore believe there is no beauty to be seen

Without self-respect and self-recognition, we develop a compulsive dependency:
The compulsion for receiving positivity from outside sources (Outside of ourselves), which we make ourselves dependent upon:

There is nothing wrong about wanting and appreciating encouraging and lovely words coming from others towards us(we are social beings, supposed to live in a peaceful, pleasant, harmony community way after all), unless we use it as a tactic in order to ignore and deny the pessimism that got built up within us, then we harm ourselves.    why ?

Because what we receive from the outside cannot change what is already built up within, it can only inspire us but the avoidance to face or even acknowledge pessimism within + a compulsive behaviour of needing to hear good, encouraging and lovely words, leaves no room for inspiration from the good we receive. Therefore, the more we receive, the more hungry we get, the void is never filled because it can only be filled by ourselves

When we base our well-being and happiness on what we receive from the world, it twists our focus from ourselves to others, meaning that however we feel (good or bad) and even our behaviour and reactions "become" a responsibility of those who interact or interacted with us. This way, we free ourselves from the responsibility and it is easier to blame others for who we are and what we do that is unpleasant and harmful. No doubt, what others do towards us(directly or indirectly) have an effect on our lives but how we react and respond is based on what is already established within and there are certain behaviours and reactions which are compulsive, they conditioned us to use them repetitively under similar circunstances and when it happens, we become exhausted because our energy is being drained from us

Did you ever say discouraging words about yourself or about your capabilities in a conversation with someone, just so that someone could give you encouraging positive supporting words ? If you remember you did once, you probably have done it many times, because it becomes a vice. Why ? Because it helps keep the denial of hard truths within

There is no shame in acknowledging and admitting it to yourself, nobody needs to know but yourself.

Because, denial is based on fear and a doorway to behavioural and chemical addictions such as compulsion for being enjoyed, cared about and loved, physical harming and chemical substance use, weather alcohol or any other that makes us "forget", that makes us easily amused, easily distracted, easily numb.

The addictions are so tricky that they make us feel that if we stop with them, we will drown forever... They are momentary relief paths, they´re not the source of problems. We need to understand the source/sources in order to overcome what got stuck within us and the purification from what is within that actually drowns us will lead to the purification from addictions that make everything heavier upon us How not to be afraid ?

By understanding ! only through understanding we can acquire the confidence needed to move forward. For instance, consider that you are presented with a math problem to solve on your own and you know nothing about math, you might have confidence in the beginning but although you kept trying your best, as your failures became repetitive, you lost confidence and eventually gave up. Now consider the same situation, the only difference now is that you know a bit about math, you might get the answer wrong many times but your confidence does not deplete because deep in yourself you know you can do it and eventually you resolve it.

The same happens in life, we know that overcoming painful dissapointments will free us to be able to be happy, we know that having confidence in ourselves will lead us to accomplishments but we might not know how to do it. You know the outcome and how it can change you for the better but do not know the process to get to such outcome

If you ever find yourself in such situation, do not blame yourself or let anyone pressure you for not having confidence or having repetitive failures. You need to understand first, so then you can acquire confidence. Sometimes we don´t understand but have a huge amount of confidence that comes from our will/desire and when failures continue to happen, the dissapointment and discouragement overpower us and we fall into a deep well of pessimism. But when we base our confidence on knowledge, failures are seen as drivers to get us forward until we reach the goals, instead of pulling us backwards

If you out there, who have read it this far, find yourself related to anything that is mentioned above, do not despair or feel sad. Instead feel empowered, not because of this message but because of what this message helped you realize on your own, based on your life, on your experiences and on yourself.

This message might have touched on some points which you didn´t wanna but in order to heal wounds, weather it´s emotional instability, trauma, anxiety, anger issues, depression, addictions, behavioural compulsions and others, we need to face the hard truths within, to clear ourselves from what some of us have been denying for years if not decades, because what we deny in us gets loose to run our subconcious and affect not only our concious thoughts and emotions during particular situations but run us on an unconcious level that influences our reactions, our behaviour and even our desires and habits

Hopefully you have been inspired by this, if so, feel welcome to continue through other messages below

And always:

Know thyself and know that you hold the power of your own, no one else holds it for you.

Monday, November 6, 2017


Anxiety emerges when auto-control and confidence fade away. Thus, lowering ourselves and living under the dominion of impatience pave the way for anxiety to take over.

Understanding this based on our lives and recognizing the different types of manifestations of low self steem and impatience we make, is essential to start discrediting anxiety and the thoughts associated with it

Because in order to get rid of anxiety, we need to discredit it, we can try denying/ignoring and it might work temporarily but it does not stop it from coming back and haunting us once again, because denial is a gateway that opens us up to what we most fear, locks it inside us and throws the key away. We can try fighting anxiety fervously but resistance can become assistance and so instead of removing it from us, we actually reinforce it

Simple and common actions we make on almost daily basis can tell us a lot about our level of self steem and patience.

Patience   Does not only concern waiting for something or someone but also concerns reactions to uncomfortable situations and unpleasant people. Our level of nervousness reflects how much lack of auto-control we have when dealing with situations in which the content, the nature of the outside or the outcome might be out of our hands or more into the hands of others or in the hands of time

When going through uncomfortable situations, the first thing we want is to be in peace as quickly as possible. So peace is the goal but through nervousness we create a contradiction between what we want and what we do to get it.

Impatience manifested as anger or rage also turn us more suitable for anxiety because of lack of auto-control. It is auto-control that is responsible for achieving the goal (peace), a concious action that does not take in consideration the level of displeasure of situations (by focusing and screaming out all the discontentment we have by forms of complaints), because when we do that, we reinforce the situations power over us and our distance from peace.

So it is not about ignoring or fighting but achieving the goal through the compatible/appropriate way.
Patience or impatience is not fragmented into patience/impatience for waiting and patience/impatience for dealing with uncomfortable situations. Having the idea that it is fragmented keeps us from understanding that impatience or patience for waiting reinforces impatience or patience for dealing with uncomfortable situations and vice versa

Because it is a non-fragmented element, regardless of what it is reacting to. Thus, by developing more auto-control (maitaining or achieving peace) when comfronted with a particular situation, there is a reinforcement of it (auto-control) within ourselves in order to deal with other kinds of situations and so on

When we feed auto-control, it feeds us back with peace and it is peace that anxiety mostly takes from us

Self Steem    Anxiety uses the uncertainty to create doubts and with doubts it can install itself in us, sometimes to such a level that even the smallest situations or no reason at all invoke anxiety, as if it had become a chronicle condition

Self Steem means it is about the self, not the outside, it is something naturally independent of the outside but we have been making it dependant by expecting facilitators to appear on the way (perhaps by someones compliment or a gift that appears to fall from the sky). So instead of being our own facilitator, we expect others to be and this very action lowers ourselves because in our subconcious, it plants the idea that we are not capable of having confidence if nothing or no one around promotes it

There are countless actions that reinforce anxiety by promoting lack of confidence. This lack of confidence might be manifested in situations which have nothing to do with anxiety but serve as food for anxiety to keep a strong hold of us, because lack of confidence is self doubt and anxiety is a consequence of doubt. It (doubt) does not separate what has to do with anxiety from what has to do with low self steem, by affecting one, it affects the other, thus enhancing anxiety

Anxiety has the power to induce the creation of fantasies in the mind. Although in the beginning, they might be harmless, eventually they become harmful because the mind subconciously searches for possibilities from both sides (positive and negative) resulting in doubt, which is the primary base for anxiety... Meanwhile that´s happening, we become impatient and lower our self steem, thus exercizing no auto-control against the unwelcomed invasion (of thoughts and emotions created by anxiety)

Such fantasies are not part of reality and what is not part of reality should not change our reality
Understanding this is crucial to discredit anxiety, especially taking in consideration that when under the dominion of such fantasies, we are hypnotized to a degree that we actually believe and expect them as reality. Therefore, auto-control and confidence together act as a shield to protect us from letting the mind being taken over by anxiety, a product of doubt reinforced in us by our own behaviour

A change in behaviour is not simply a change in behaviour. For instance, by changing the behaviour from expecting facilitators to push us towards something positive to becoming our own facilitator, we destroy the root that was planted before, that said we needed others encouragement in order to feel encouraged and good,and plant the seed of self encouragement, despite the hardship of situations. Thus, we exercise confidence in the natural way and through confidence we enhance auto-control because the thoughts and emotions (coming from anxiety) that actually controlled us and caused us instability, no longer take place.

All flows smoothly because it is all interconnected, once we not only understand but realize it happening in our lives (when a bad emotion or thought connects with another bad emotion or thought and both enhance each other), then we will be able to dismantle the system of control that anxiety through its agents (low self steem, impatience and others) set up for us.

And when we understand and realize that patience connects to auto-control; auto-control connects to confidence; confidence connects to inner peace; inner peace connects to emotional stability and emotional stability connects to strength and each one enhances the other, then we are able to lead ourselves into a new life, into a better life, into success and 

Into a life free of anxiety, because by exercising patience we gained auto-control, by gaining auto-control we liberated ourselves to think for ourselves(instead of being controlled by unwelcomed thoughts) and by such liberation we get to discredit anxiety and understanding what it really is, a force that has no power and only acts upon us when we do not exercise our power to keep confidence and auto-control when needed (so no fantasies distort our discernment into believing they are true).

Awareness of the connections and juncture of negative with negative and positive with positive within ourselves, manifested through our behaviour (externally, internally or both), is of great importance to start understanding how anxiety tricks us into feeding and giving shelter to it and how we can overpower it.

Soon, it is up to us to persevere in our efforts against anxiety agents, in order to discredit it and see ourselves going through situations which the outcome is uncertain, without being imprisoned and consumed by non-realistic thoughts and negative possibilities and emotions.

Anxiety is complex and tricky but its weaknesses are huge and freedom from it starts with simple actions

Monday, June 5, 2017

The Abyss of Self-Victimization

There is no doubt of the tremendous effects that lifes circumstances have upon us, effects which sometimes can only be perceived a long time afterwards....

But even though they get immune from our perception, at least temporarily, there is a very important element which links directly to them and is completely perceivable and yet gives us a hard time realizing and accepting it.            I am talking about self-victimization.

First of all, it is hard to realize it exists because it bounds so intimately to lifes dissapointments and traumatic experiences, that it generates a continuous reason to feel bad (weather it involves sadness, anger, anxiety or else) with situations from the present and future, some alike the ones that caused us the traumas and dissapointments and some completely different.

Such situations bring us reasons but more than that, they bring back the negative charge that was generated in the past and such charge keeps on building itself in the name of reason/motive, which is wore like a mask so we do not notice the harm we do to ourselves by self-victimization is way worse than the actual situations that occur.

To accept it exists is far from easy, because although we want to overcome what haunt us, we strongly hold on the haunting because it creates a sense of deserving justice/revenge and such sense makes us thirsty for them, while also making us more sensitive, weak and susceptible to more emotional disturbance

Therefore, our present reactions concerning certain situations, our current way of feeling bad when confronting certain circumstances, our bad habits, lack of confidence and hope and so on,  might have roots in the past, in particular events that happened and had the impact of changing us during the moment they happened and continue changing us because self-victmization wires us to them. 

To understand all this, means we are a step closer towards recovery.

There are countless horrible and traumatic situations, both emotional and physical, which none can be measured and which only the hearts that go through them understand completely what it feels like and each heart is different in acting, reacting and perceiving but nevertheless, self-victimization is independable on who we are and what generated it in the first place.

The key to its success might lie on the fact that hearing about it from someone towards us or having the thought that we do self-victimization causes us anger because it instantaneously connects us to that negative baggage that kept getting heavier with time. Remember !!! That this baggage presents itself as reasons/motives and that´s how self-victimization persuades us, camouflaging and generating a false feeling of self-protection.

But why is it false ?

It is false because instead of helping us overcome, it draws us closer and deeper into what hurt us, because it feeds the idea that we have the right to feel we have been deceived, abused and hurt. While it is true we have such right, it never lets us let go of the hurting because it makes us await for some kind of retribution towards others or consolation prize towards ourselves.

While we spend life on this endless waiting, we ignore the fact that we do not overcome past situations because we do not have enough strength but because we choose not to overcome

We do not make such choice conciously at first but as soon as we realize and accept that self-victimization exists in us (if it does), we are concious and from then on, our choices are not a product of persuation by something but are our own

I hope by now, you have understood how dangerous and persuasive self-victimization is and that you are ready to break free from it and overcome what still haunts you

Accepting it, does not conflict with the power that past situations had to hurt us and how unjust they were. It simply allows us to see that the reasons the situations bring at particular moments might be smaller than what is continuously being generated within (even though the situations ceased existing) afterwards

Self-victimization can be perceived explicitly when we begin feeling bad when hearing about something or someone, when thinking about the past bad situations, when going through something the resembles something that happened before or that makes us connect both situations even if they have nothing in common


It can be perceived in small details, when we silently deny that any of our attitudes, bad habits and emotional instability has root in particular events from the past, when we put the problems others make us go through above the problems we generate for ourselves and so on ...

All of the above mean we have not entirely overcome the past. If you are familiar with anything that's been described, do not despair and fall into self-victimizations ultimate weapon, fear .
When our eyes are finally open, it (self-victimization) induces fear upon us, to force us to choose the easiest way, the way of denial. It does so because when we are afraid, we do not realize the fear of our enemy and self-victimization is our enemy

Once you break free from it, you will start to notice your strength, strength that was repressed by the thirsty for justice/revenge/retribution/consolation prize that self-victimization causes.

No matter how great and hurtful the experiences you have encountered, once you stop generating difficulties for yourself, you begin to have a clear vision of the power of what haunts you and the power you have

And understand that it only has power over you as long as you do not reclaim what is emprisoned within yourself, the will to live a more peaceful and happy life ! Which is lost throughout time.

Such will is obscured by self-victimization that wants nothing more than to keep you in a vicious cycle of waiting, denial and fear. This way, you do not use what you have, the strength capable of turning any victim into a warrior, into a winner

Look within yourself and understand yourself and how your past affects you !!!

Know your enemies and be a warrior
Know your strength and be a winner

Emerge from the abyss of self-victimization

You can !

Sunday, May 7, 2017

Inspire And Get Inspired

Each source of hearing and vision stimulates our subconcious and some are so deep or intense that influence us in our conscious state by promoting changes in language behaviour; habits behaviour; emotional and psychological behaviour.

For some of us, a negative stimulation might have a greater impact than positive ones. For instance, when we approach someone who responds to us out of rage or rudeness, it might cause us to lose the tranquility we had before (which not necessarily happens instantaneously, nervousness can be stocked within building itself up over time until it can no longer be contained) and stimulate us to act or desire to act the same way,  it´s as if "if you cannot beat the enemy, join them" and the enemy is not the person but the fruit of emotion that led the person to present such behaviour.

Yet the same length of stimulation or inspiration is not always present when we find situations (weather from our reality or not) that send out positive inspirations.

Perhaps, it´s because the negative stimulations tend to stick more into our conscience. Whereas, the positive ones are enjoyed and appreciated on one hand but on the other hand vanish from our minds almost instantaneously. Thus, we don´t mentally spend time over them as we do over negative stimulations.

For negative stimulations to influence us, they need us to not understand their nature and how they work to get control of us and once in control of us because they increase their manipulative power according to the level of void in perception and understanding we have of them.

On the other hand, positive inspirations increase as we extend our perception and understanding. The less perception and knowledge we have about positive sources of inspiration, the more likely doubts will emerge to trick us into not allow ourselves to get positively inspired as much as we can. Therefore, since negative inspirations need our voidness in understanding, they use manipulative mechanisms to trick us in order to survive and develop within us. Whereas positive inspirations need our understanding to flourish and ramificate.

Our knowledge decreases the effects and efficiency of the negative stimulations we encounter, we maintain tranquility (not only in behaviour but mentally, since repressed negative emotions cause extreme damage) and are able to act the opposed way... If encounter rudness, we give kindness; if encounter selfishness, we give empathy; if encounter rage, we give serenity and so on.

The more understanding, the more we see the great powers of triumph of positive fruits, not just for preserving our well-being but also inspiring others to calm down if they´re in rage; to consider others next time instead of turning away; to be polite to others despite their afflicting problems and so on.

This way, we build a positive web that reaches beyond our personnal linkages and encounters, and increase the chance of diminishing surrounding negative stimulations for ourselves and for others.

This understanding exists when we not only perceive the obvious effects of negative and positive attitudes (in form of action, thought or emotion) but also allow ourselves to extend our perception to understand not only the outcome of being inspired positively or negatively but also the connections that such inspirations make inside us.

Since one negative or positive emotion or state of being is always linked to another... Anxiety - Nervousness; Worry - Fear; Anger - Apathy; Love - Peace; Patience - Calmness; Generosity - Kindness and so on. Connections which determine the outcome of situations and the outcome of our mental health by the time the situations are over.

Based on such understanding, we manage to turn situations around, from negative to positive, perhaps not always entirely but in a way that we don´t get emotionally damaged and not add more fuel to the fire that burn us all.

The world around us teach a lot of bad things but there´s a lot of good lessons to learn from it as well, it´s up to us to perceive them and not let them escape and vanish from our minds.

A positive inspiration by something we see, think, read or hear can help us gather a level and extension of knowledge we couldn´t imagine possible before and by now if you ask yourself how, perhaps you should consider contrasting the opposite sides:

For instance, if you saw an act of kindness, imagine that the person acted based on anger or rudeness, such attitude could only be generated by a damaged emotional state but with kindness the person put themselves above their afflicting problem and did not get negatively inspired. Thus did not inspire the negative as well. This is the real strength, when we are capable of such accomplishment.

We all have such capability but we have to believe and persevere with knowledge and practice because only one or the other favors contractions about what we want/need and what we actually do.

Behind attitudes, there´s a world of webs of emotions and thoughts that interconnect with each other to determine outcomes.

It´s essential to understand such connections within ourselves and be conscious of the good ones and their benefits and the bad ones and their damaging effects and tricks, because on contrary to chemistry of inorganic substances, negative emotions and thoughts attract more negative as the positive ones attract more positive. However, when we have self-control and knowledge to see how negative emotions and thoughts trick us into cultivating them, we´re even able to get positively inspired by surrounding negative stimulations, because by understanding what generated it in a person or persons, we protect ourselves from having the same or worst happen to us... We don´t absorb the negative stimulations but cultivate and send out positive inspirations generated by ourselves by our own internal reasons.

So let yourself know the internal corners of your being, get inspired by your own and other´s positive attitudes but also positively inspired by the negative ones. Knowledge will pave the way but you have to walk or inertia will hold you in frustration from reaching your true potential.

Inspire And Get Inspired !!!

Friday, March 24, 2017

Transcendence Over Denial

For Reflection: 

It is more convenient to treat symptoms than to treat actual causes and when symptoms are minor, they are easily ignored.

The body reveals symptoms from our biological system
as attitudes reveal symptoms from our mental state.

As minor physical symptoms can reveal great problems, 
so does minor non-good attitudes reveal great threats, threats against our own well-being.

Apathy: The action of indifference towards someone else's pain, hardship or misleading. If the heart is uncapable of feeling for someone (anyone, including strangers), it doesn't feel remorse when it generates an attitude hurtful to others.

Apathy is a doorway to lying, by lying we use each other and the gains of it bring denial as an attempt to comfort the mind. 

Using: Lifeless objects are made for using, not beings of life. Yet we've been engaging in friendships, relationships and businesses in which benefits are not intended to be mutual or close to mutual but only to get us to receive more and give less, to feel superior and others inferior, to control relations not by essence of the heart but by convenient strategies that unable us to use others to achieve some kind of success.

The usage of words from doubt and falseness to affirm something to generate gains is a tool of convincing others of non-existent Love, Care and Sincerity.

When we deprive others of such fruits by giving them the impression they exist, we also deprive ourselves of living what we receive to the full potential, in a deeper and purer sense. In which, there's no conflict between what's concealed in our hearts and what we receive from the outside.

That being said, no matter how great amount of wonderful things we receive by using others and lying to them, it does not promote well-being and the first principle of happiness is well-being, regardless of any aspect of believe (religious or scientific) or style of life.

Perhaps the modern man's dissatisfaction comes from this whole world of non-existant aspects promoted to create a better reality, perhaps that's why relationships are easily broken and friendships easily dismantled. 

Lying: It has become an almost daily activity and serves several purposes, life's circumstances usually are seen as what pushes us to it, so we can: take advantange on someone; help hide someone's mistake; get better grades by cheating; convince someone we did something we didn't; convince someone we didn't do something we did. All this in order to escape problems or avoid some sort of uncomfortable situation but how can we feel comfortable if our mind is deceived as well ? 

It is deceived because although we know our untruthful acts, we manipulate our mind to look at the gains and ignore the means by which they were obtained, even if it's composed of the suffering and misleading of others.

Nevertheless, our denial of the bad seeds we plant and bad fruits we spread, in the end we know that our achievements are based on lies and pain we generate in others by the consequences of our dishonesty.

Remember ! Nobody heals by hurting others; Nobody becomes strong by diminishing others; Nobody is truly happy by inflicting pain in someone else's heart. Remember !

When we lie to others, we also lie to ourselves and whatever advantange is gained, minor or major, it is the product of a non-existant reality. Thus if something doesn't exist, it cannot contribute to our well-being 
But lying is a beast of many heads. Hence denial is born.

Denial: It's a convenient tool to avoid facing what makes us dissapointed and ashamed of ourselves. The usage of denial twists our perception of reality. It makes us believe that admitting flaws and mistakes diminishes us when in fact what really diminishes us is not acknowledging them.

By denying our bad attitudes, we condition ourselves to move towards an unstable and weak mental/emotional state. This happens so because we don't allow ourselves to face our own conciousness about the things we've done. In this case, everytime we do something dishonest, we accumulate denial and in turn accumulate weakness.

Those who don't fight, don't get strong !
This is the basic principle why denial instead of strengthening us, weakens us.

With time, the fear of facing our own conciousness drives us away from even perceiving dishonest attitudes as bad and so we become almost machanized to fill up desiring voids no matter what needs to be done and when we have no consideration for other people's feelings and life situation they are found in, we end up damaging and ruining them for benefits for ourselves.

Benefits which although stimulate more denial by making it easier to do so, also brings the constant feeling of dissatisfaction because denial can hide what we don't wanna face but cannot erase it.

When we toss aside peace of spirit, the accomplishments based on dishonesty can be immense and yet not able to reduce the feeling of dissatisfaction.

On the other hand, when we trascend over denial, we learn that in order to enhance ourselves, we need to stop diminishing ourselves( by denying reality); in order to strengthen ourselves, we shouldn't take admitting mistakes as a weakness but the denial of them as one.

Trascendence over denial shall bring the true enjoyment and satisfaction of our accomplishments because in the process, no falseness we generated, no heart we hurt and so reality is not split in two pieces but stays as one, one that we feel happy about.

Sunday, October 30, 2016

Bringing Back Forgotten Values

The advance of technology and consequently the creation of the modern era, caused many changes in the world, not just in the environment that surround us but also changes in the way we behave and how we communicate with each other.

The virtual world has become a big part of our lives and through it, we learned to develop certain skills such as saying meaningful words without really meaning them or even understanding them and we also learned to hide truths from each other, since doing it behind a screen is much easier... But these retrogressive skills learned did not stop in the virtual world, they expanded to life outside of the screen as well, which allowed us to act and speak in convenient insincere ways (under any circumstances), which often implies lying to get some kind of social advantage. 

Our lack of sincerity not only has distanced us from each other but also has distanced us from feeling well or working on feeling well with ourselves. Because, we feel so pressured to work on the image we expose, that we have been denying who we really are and how we really feel. 

Without sincerity, it´s not just others that feel unable to trust us, we also feel unable to trust them (even when they have no idea we´ve been insincere), because if we did trust them, sincerity would be seen as a top priority.

That way, even though we are close to each other, we feel as much distant as if we were strangers.

The modern world has also allowed us to get an amount of attention which was never possible in the past. This possibility of great attention fascinated us, to the point we forgot how it is like to be mutual. It is not just about mutual feelings, it is about mutual communication, which seems to be fading away because we only want to be known and let know.

Someone tell us they have been in pain, right away we mention our pain as well
Someone tell us about a trip they had, right away, we mention our trips as well
Someone tell us about where they study or where they work and right away we mention our studying or working area as well

Whatever happened to the
" how bad is it or where is it ? "
" how was it ? Did you enjoy it ? "
" do you like it ? what are you looking for in the future ? Tell me more about it ? " ?

Simple questions which we would like anyone to ask us and yet we do not bother using them... It is as if we do not talk anymore but simply exchange information, without interest in knowing, only interested in letting know. 

We always find time and opportunities to make ourselves known, which is not wrong but about knowing and getting to know ?

When a social connection is not mutual, it is unbalanced, lighter for one side and heavier for the other side and the whole social structure of community becomes disintegrated and filled with void.

In a world without mutuality, bonds are difficult to form and when they do, they are easily broken. Isn´t that what we have been experiencing ?

It has become very easy for us to use replacement as a way of earning a more convenient life, we replace friends of today with tomorrow´s new friends, we replace the relationships of today with tomorrow´s new relationships. It has become a cycle that has no end, we are constantly acquiring new social contacts and status and yet we are not able to keep any of them. 

Perhaps if we bring back mutuality as a principle of life, we will once again be able to form and keep meaningful aspects of social life.

Another value, we seem to have forgotten is humbleness and part of it has to do with our lack of mutuality, since we don´t form bonds, we act as being free of responsibility for what we cause. We feel in the right to be wrong and pose ourselves as right so we dont have to apologise for being wrong. It´s as if acknowledging being wrong diminish us but in fact, it´s the refusal to acknowledge that diminish us, if it didn´t, we wouldn´t look for any distraction or way of denial about it.

Coming to think about it, without mutuality we tend to be less humble towards each other and without sincerity we tend to be less mutual with each other and without humbleness we tend to be less sincere and less mutual as well. All of these absences  are interconnected, they influence one another and not rarely dictate how far one goes.

In the modern world, we humankind have chosen machines and pets over each other, to be company, friends and family members. Machines exist to be used, not taken as a personal social member, pets exist to be loved and treated with care but not to replace someone from our own kind.

Our social structure is in ruins and relationships unbalanced but if we bring back forgotten values, such as sincerity, mutuality and humbleness, we will be able to restore it and not let the world mold us but be the ones to mold the world. 

Such change starts with us, let´s not wait for it to start with someone else. Let´s bring back the forgotten values and hopefully others will do it as well. 

Sunday, September 4, 2016


Some believe it´s life´s negative situations that cause someone to be oppressed, oppressed with the kind of feelings and thoughts that consume energy, unlike the kind of feelings and thoughts that bring energy... Because it´s only natural for what is bad to put a heavy weight on somebody´s heart and for what is good to provide lightness. 

Although it´s all true, that weight doubles it´s heaviness when we give it energy to do so... Because in every life´s situation, reaction must be considered as much as action. Thus, actions alone, meaning life´s situation, cannot determine if there will be heaviness or lightness, they only trigger the process of us reacting in order to give in energy or to preserve and use it to achieve lightness in the best scale we can.

If in every bad action, bad reaction is considered the appropriate answer, it becomes impossible not to conceive heaviness within, since we give in more energy to the negative source that already managed to take some away.

Simple reactions considered appropriate answers, such as excuses, complaint and blaming act as energy transmitters from us to the consuming heaviness, which makes us auto-oppress ourselves while believing it´s a healthy way of expression.

It´s true there must be expression since repressed feelings can triple the heaviness that might have been already doubled but the expression must not exist in such a way that it joins hands with the negative source, we wanted nothing to do with in the first place. We cannot choose what actions will appear on our way but we can choose how we will react.

When a bad present or past situation is taking in consideration, almost instantaneously, complaints are made because we feel in the right to do so.... But such expression is tricky because at the same time it allows us to feel a sense of lightness afterwards, it bonds to us in such a way that the next time we remember or talk about that situation, there´s a tendency that we will complain again and so such reaction never seems to cease, specially considering that life´s negative situations are non-stop, even if are absent for a period of time.

The accumulation of this repetitive reaction cannot result in nothing but heaviness. Instead of giving energy to the source that is already taking it from us, we shall preserve our energy by not complaining and using it to be applied to an attitude we can have to restore the situation, to forgive the ones who hurt us and to let goof what keeps disturbing us from time to time, as long as complaints live on, we do not let go. 

Complaints live on when we use excuses, excuses not only to make complaints but excuses to take away our responsibility to overcome a situation, they provide avoidance from facing a damaging way of living which make us comfortable feeling heavy and oppressed because someone or some people or some circumstances brought us the reason.

It´s as if although we wanna be free from heaviness, we bond to it because we feel in the right to express our hurt by doing so.

Such way of expression is a way of auto-oppression, since it´s no longer the situations themselves that emprison us but it´s our own repetitive and accumulative negative reactions.

In the end, another consuming element is born, the blame, the blame we put on others or on ourselves. Complaints and excuses serve as keys to trigger this blame and make us destined to carry heaviness throughout time. When we stop the complaints and excuses we can save ourselvess from being bond to heaviness. 

We make our own destiny when we choose how to react and weather there will be lightness or heaviness.