Saturday, February 1, 2020

Repressed Emotions part II : The diagnosis and the road to liberation

If you haven't read part I, please do or you won't understand the message below. That being said, now after you have read, understood and reflected upon part I, it's time to get into the diagnosis and liberation from traumas


After all you've read, you might ask "How do I know if some of my behaviours are part of the mechanism to release excessive negative emotions initially imprinted in me by a past trauma?"

Well, first of all, some traumas might be so buried inside, long distant from our conscience that it's difficult to remember, but we don't need to worry about that

There's one question you should ask yourself: Do I have a craving for something during an uncomfortable situation or after accumulation of unpleasant situations at work for example or else?

It doesn't have to be a craving that is instantly fulfilled or fulfilled at all, you could only have the desire, it's enough to identify that desire as being a craving suppose to act as the mechanism to release excessive negative emotions

We all have cravings and not necessarily they are used to release negative emotions. That's why once you identify your craving/cravings and what are the circumstances around the time those cravings overwhelm you, you should not fulfill the craving and/or send the desire for the craving away from your mind. Once this is done, examine yourself, understand how you feel and what you feel. If you feel agitated, nervous, anxious, angry, sad, worried, there's a great chance that such craving (acted upon or just desired) was going to be used to stop you from feeling that negative emotion/emotions

During your self-examination, be aware that it might only take a few seconds or minutes and sometimes could be very subtle (like a burst of agitation that comes strong but gets lost amidst your fantasy thoughts). You might just feel agitated (in disharmony, unquiet, uncomfortable) with no apparent particular emotion associated, but if you dwell for a moment on the agitation, you shall know if it's because of anxiety, sadness, anger, worry or an interaction of them

The road to liberation 

And now comes the road to liberation:

Try to remember the first times you experienced that latest negative emotion that has bothered you, if you can't, then remember the latest experiences. Now remember how it made you feel and act, it's quite rare for us to act completely normal (in harmony) when a negative emotion screams inside us, although we can hide from others.

Now, if you can recognise any distress you caused in others during those experiences and the problems and tension that aroused, play out in your mind the same situation but this time make yourself have the opposite reaction that you had, if you had anger now have serenity and understanding, if you had anxiety now have serenity and patience, if you had sadness now have self-confidence and put yourself above sadness, in a state of peace. Then, develop the rest of the story with a positive outcome.

Now after doing this, do you realize that if you felt and acted differently than you did, you could have saved yourself from a lot of problems, streess and tension? It is so even if you didn't (consciously in order to hide from others or not) cause distress in others, because even if you don't completely act out the negative emotion, your behaviour changes and most importantly, your state of being changes and such changes have the potential to impact future experiences (related or not to what caused you to be in a damaging state of being). This way, more problems and tension accumulate and the more you'll find relief in releasing the excess of negative emotions without treating the problems

Liberation from negative emotions past events imprinted in us can only come after we see the results that such liberation would cause, otherwise we wouldn't even recognize a need for liberation. That's why it's important to play out past experiences in our minds but us having a positive state of being causing a positive outcome out of the situation. I know lots of outcomes of situations didn't/don't depend entirely on us because others play their part as well, and it won't erase dissapointments for example and consequences we suffered/will suffer, but it can make us realize that if we acted differently, others would have acted differently, and it would be easier for us to overcome and move on, but even if others wouldn't act differently, by our actions alone the outcome would be less damanging. On contrary, the more damanging emotions overwhelm us, the harder it is to move on

I know this exercise of playing out past experiences in the mind but act more positive, change others's behaviour and have a more positive or at least less damanging outcome is very difficult if the people involved or the action against us itself do not allow us to forgive them or forgive the very act independently of who it was. That's why now I appeal to you to reflect upon forgiviness after going through this message by going here:

Most people see traumas as being huge horrific events, but how can you measure how horrific and how big it has to be to be a trauma? We can't. Traumas can be developed even from apparently small events because what matters is not how big the event seems to be but how much it was able to imprint in us a negative emotion, and let's be frank, when we are young, we are not emotionally and mentally mature. This way, lots of events could be considered traumatic, because they had the strength to imprint in us what today destroyes us. By the time we get to our 20's and 30's we can become a big stock for negative emotions, and being so accostumed to them, we end up accepting without bothering, and this is why they keep on growing and we don't break the looping and find liberation

After you analyse your behaviour and cravings, you might discover that lots of things you like to do are unconciously being used to release excessive negative emotions, but don't worry and especially don't get paranoid or desperated. If those cravings are healthy and truly do you good, like playing a sport or watching a tv/net series, once you liberate from traumas, they won't be used to release excessive negative emotions anymore, this way you'll be able to better appreciate them and even be positively inspired, and not count on them to get emotional/mental relief which just keeps feeding the looping and distances you from liberation

After the time you spent on part I and now part II of this message, I truly hope you try to apply this in your life. I know traumas are complex and hurtful and sometimes makes you feel ashamed to even recognise them as traumas because you might tend to make yourself look strong, but the thing is you are strong, and being emotionally and mentally unprepared to go through the situations that were traumatic for you (imprinted negative emotions in you) does not make you weak, you're strong for having survived them but now you have a chance to be wise to move on from them, allow yourself to take it...

Repressed Emotions Part I : The acknowledgement

Trauma is a sensitive topic to approach. For some, the approachment generates deep pain, for others anger, and for some amused denial of even having one (trauma), but hopefully sticking up until the end of this message will be productive for you, even if you have another kind of attitude: indifference to your own traumas.

Before getting specifically into the trauma issue, it's essential to clear out two points necessary in order to understand how trauma can affect us on a daily basis

Point 1: Suppose you´re a person that suffers from low blood pressure. During the hot season you experience issues because of it, but even though during the cold season those issues (symptoms) are gone or reduced, it doesn't mean you´re cured from low blood pressure, it just means that the circumstances of the environment can favour or disfavour you expressing such condition. Meanwhile, you always carry this condition in you as long as you don't work to cure yourself from it

Point 2: Imagine a bottle constantly being filled with water. It only allows a certain volume of water in it, afterwards it expells water to it's surrounding as a mechanism to keep itself from exploding, if the exit for water would be sealed, sooner or later, the bottle would self-destruct because of too much pressure

Keeping these two points in mind, now replace the low blood pressure by the latest negative emotion that has overcome you. In point 2, replace the bottle by yourself and the water by that latest negative emotion. Now see how the story goes...

Emotions are not erased during the time period they're not expressed, they're just repressed and stay dormant to our perception but fully functionally active.

Did you ever notice in yourself an emotional repetitive behaviour (explicit or not) while facing certain events (alike or not)? Think about that for a moment! Or if you ever have moments in which you experience an overwhelming sadness/anxiety/impatience/nervousness/anger that you cannot explain where they come from and what causes them...

If you have experienced this, do you see any relation to the two points cleared out above?

The first time a negative emotion got imprinted in you, let´s say "anxiety", it (anxiety) attached to you and you attached to it. Later on, all kinds of different situation will cause you to feel this same emotion, this way it keeps growing in you, and at the same time it weakens the other response you could have while facing situations, in this case "patience" and "serenity". However, when situations are pleasant for you, you even forget what anxiety feels like (which resembles point 1)

Now point 2 comes along: We are not capable of carrying excessive damaging emotions for too long without breaking down and developing all kinds of serious health problems, like cancer... So wouldn't it be helpful to release off some excessive negative emotion some way? It's what we do without even noticing, it's a survival mechanism, not just regarding our mental and emotional health but our physical health as well.

This mechanism could involve addictions or even benevolent things such as joy. No, of course to be joyful is not a bad thing, but it could be used to hide deep sadness and depression. It's not rare that comedians or common folks that always appear to be joyful and happy are depressed, and some even commit suicide. After getting the news about the suicide or about the depression, some people would say "but the person was always smiling, always happy, liked to party, had many friends"... Well, for some people it's easier to release off excessive sadness by searching for joyful experiences and portraying themselves as happy. On the other hand, for some crying seems more effective...

However, the point here is not what we use to release excessive negative emotion, but the point is are we aware of it at all?

It's likely that you have never thought about it before, perhaps it would do you good to start...

No matter what action is involved in the mechanism, it always makes us forget about that emotional/mental negative state which erodes us within, while at the same time allows us to unconciously release the excess of those negative emotions in order to carry on, good would you say?

If your answer is yes, then you should consider this: The more you feel one emotion like anxiety or sadness, the more you're prone to feel them during uncomfortable and unpleasant situations. So, the mechanism used to release the excess does not erradicate the emotion within you, just the excess, and there'll always be situations likely to invoke those emotions. So what's the conclusion?

We might find ourselves entrapped in a loop of continous repetition, for example: There's a situation and we feel anxious, then we do something to release the excess of anxiety, just in order to feel anxious again during another situation and so we release off some more excess and on and on and on and on...

Does it all make sense to you? Do you find yourself in such a loop or know someone who might be? Then please continue to part II of this message in order to walk the road to liberation

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Selectability As a Driver For Self-Destruction

Being and acting selectively may be convenient and go along with what pleases us but it can have catasthophic consequences. By avoiding to look at a part of ourselves that compose hard unpleasant truths, we cannot overcome what disturbs us because we need to see the whole picture in order to understand and only through understanding, overcoming can come

Idolizing joy and pleasure in order to deny and hide from hard truths within is a defense mechanism on a concious level but an auto-destructive mechanism on a subconcious level

Physical harming allows us to change our perception from the hurting within to the hurting of the body and the use of chemical substances allows us to temporarily find relief from the pain within.

So even though we conciously know these ruin us, subconciously we associate physical harming, chemical substance use and other vices and compulsion for joy and pleasure with relief from the hard truths within and so we are able to go on without shutting down our social life and social obligations

And on top of that, there are reactions we implement in life that act as drivers that empower all these actions that provide temporary relief and long-lasting negative effects: 
Super numbness:  It acts as a shield, allowing us to avoid continuing to get hurt and dissapointed but also acts as an oppressive dictator that does not allow us to develop within what is essential for a life of happiness. It is usually a constructed reaction built within, by choice

Developing a numb/cold personallity makes us lose the perception of the beauty stored within, which leads to the feeling of not deserving to get better. It (being numb) creates the illusion of strength because it associates indifference/coldness with emotional strength, because as there is no crying, no desperation, no dwelling in pain, we believe it means strength, when in fact it means weakness because such accomplishments(not rarely achieved by repression) are done by the fear that makes us deny hard truths and feelings within

Super sensitivity: It provides liberality for us to develop within what is essential for a life of happiness but also provides open doors and windows for us to get greatly hurt and dissapointed. It is usually a constructed reaction built within not by choice but by incapability to become numb/cold and thus it is common for those of us who are super sensitive to wish to become super numb

The emotional stage of being super sensitive either creates fear in us to recognize our shameful behaviour towards ourselves or make us extremely suitable for self-guilt (which leads to feeling of not deserving to get better). Either way, it (being super sensitive) creates the illusion of weakness, it associates feelings with weakness, because subconciously the idea that those who care end up suffering is planted because supposedly others will always be able to take advantage but in fact, caring means strength, as long as it is not directed to dependency on others, because if so, it feeds weakness, but it itself is not a weakness

The feeling of not deserving to get better/be happy:

Its source is self-guilt. 

Have you ever felt you didn´t deserve to get better or to be happy or to have success after you made mistakes or remembered mistakes or after someone pointed a finger at you ? If you did, it is no random feeling because as time goes by and you find yourself in a life of more troubles than peace, those expressions(mistakes and failures) start to convince you that you don´t deserve to get better or to have happiness because you make so many mistakes frequently. But there is something you need to understand:

The expressions you make that turn out to induce, create or expand problems/arguments/difficulties are not mere reactions to what´s going on in your life and around you but are symptoms from what goes on within yourself.

Both (super sensitivity and super numbness) provide a benefit and a malice but there is a third way, through which we can develop what is essential for happiness without being vulnerable to fall and dwell in pain.     How ?

Through self-respect and self-recognition

Self-respect: By respecting others you do not disrespect yourself : Being polite, loving and understanding to others do not stop you from being the same with yourself, you give yourself a hand when you need as you give others when they need, you encourage yourself as you encourage others

Self-recognition: You recognize the good you have and the good you do and your sincere regrets when you make mistakes and your efforts to avoid making mistakes, independently if others recognize all that or not.  You do not condemn yourself saying "I didn´t do enough"; "I can´t"; "I am not strong enough", you don´t devalue your efforts when you fail, you don´t take for granted the good you have and do, even when others take for granted.      How ?

Take a look within and see the beauty stored in there. Such beauty may not be always expressed or may rarely be expressed, thus others cannot see it or when it is expressed, it may not be appreciated by others but that does not grant it less importance, it just means that there are certain attributes within us that keep us from expressing more of the beauty we have and there are certain attributes in others that keep them from appreciating true beauty (essential instead of superficial)

Self-respect and super sensitivity : To be super sensitive means that sadness obscures reasons we have to respect ourselves, it creates an overwhelming overload of emotions that build a wall in front of our critical/rational thinking, so that we do not access it.

Self-recognition and super numbness : Being numb consequently leads to the devalue of beautiful feelings and even incapacity to perceive them within, it creates a shadow within us and thus everytime we look at it, we believe it is us and therefore believe there is no beauty to be seen

Without self-respect and self-recognition, we develop a compulsive dependency:
The compulsion for receiving positivity from outside sources (Outside of ourselves), which we make ourselves dependent upon:

There is nothing wrong about wanting and appreciating encouraging and lovely words coming from others towards us(we are social beings, supposed to live in a peaceful, pleasant, harmony community way after all), unless we use it as a tactic in order to ignore and deny the pessimism that got built up within us, then we harm ourselves.    why ?

Because what we receive from the outside cannot change what is already built up within, it can only inspire us but the avoidance to face or even acknowledge pessimism within + a compulsive behaviour of needing to hear good, encouraging and lovely words, leaves no room for inspiration from the good we receive. Therefore, the more we receive, the more hungry we get, the void is never filled because it can only be filled by ourselves

When we base our well-being and happiness on what we receive from the world, it twists our focus from ourselves to others, meaning that however we feel (good or bad) and even our behaviour and reactions "become" a responsibility of those who interact or interacted with us. This way, we free ourselves from the responsibility and it is easier to blame others for who we are and what we do that is unpleasant and harmful. No doubt, what others do towards us(directly or indirectly) have an effect on our lives but how we react and respond is based on what is already established within and there are certain behaviours and reactions which are compulsive, they conditioned us to use them repetitively under similar circunstances and when it happens, we become exhausted because our energy is being drained from us

Did you ever say discouraging words about yourself or about your capabilities in a conversation with someone, just so that someone could give you encouraging positive supporting words ? If you remember you did once, you probably have done it many times, because it becomes a vice. Why ? Because it helps keep the denial of hard truths within

There is no shame in acknowledging and admitting it to yourself, nobody needs to know but yourself.

Because, denial is based on fear and a doorway to behavioural and chemical addictions such as compulsion for being enjoyed, cared about and loved, physical harming and chemical substance use, weather alcohol or any other that makes us "forget", that makes us easily amused, easily distracted, easily numb.

The addictions are so tricky that they make us feel that if we stop with them, we will drown forever... They are momentary relief paths, they´re not the source of problems. We need to understand the source/sources in order to overcome what got stuck within us and the purification from what is within that actually drowns us will lead to the purification from addictions that make everything heavier upon us How not to be afraid ?

By understanding ! only through understanding we can acquire the confidence needed to move forward. For instance, consider that you are presented with a math problem to solve on your own and you know nothing about math, you might have confidence in the beginning but although you kept trying your best, as your failures became repetitive, you lost confidence and eventually gave up. Now consider the same situation, the only difference now is that you know a bit about math, you might get the answer wrong many times but your confidence does not deplete because deep in yourself you know you can do it and eventually you resolve it.

The same happens in life, we know that overcoming painful dissapointments will free us to be able to be happy, we know that having confidence in ourselves will lead us to accomplishments but we might not know how to do it. You know the outcome and how it can change you for the better but do not know the process to get to such outcome

If you ever find yourself in such situation, do not blame yourself or let anyone pressure you for not having confidence or having repetitive failures. You need to understand first, so then you can acquire confidence. Sometimes we don´t understand but have a huge amount of confidence that comes from our will/desire and when failures continue to happen, the dissapointment and discouragement overpower us and we fall into a deep well of pessimism. But when we base our confidence on knowledge, failures are seen as drivers to get us forward until we reach the goals, instead of pulling us backwards

If you out there, who have read it this far, find yourself related to anything that is mentioned above, do not despair or feel sad. Instead feel empowered, not because of this message but because of what this message helped you realize on your own, based on your life, on your experiences and on yourself.

This message might have touched on some points which you didn´t wanna but in order to heal wounds, weather it´s emotional instability, trauma, anxiety, anger issues, depression, addictions, behavioural compulsions and others, we need to face the hard truths within, to clear ourselves from what some of us have been denying for years if not decades, because what we deny in us gets loose to run our subconcious and affect not only our concious thoughts and emotions during particular situations but run us on an unconcious level that influences our reactions, our behaviour and even our desires and habits

Hopefully you have been inspired by this, if so, feel welcome to continue through other messages below

And always:

Know thyself and know that you hold the power of your own, no one else holds it for you.

Monday, November 6, 2017


Anxiety emerges when auto-control and confidence fade away. Thus, lowering ourselves and living under the dominion of impatience pave the way for anxiety to take over.

Understanding this based on our lives and recognizing the different types of manifestations of low self steem and impatience we make, is essential to start discrediting anxiety and the thoughts associated with it

Because in order to get rid of anxiety, we need to discredit it, we can try denying/ignoring and it might work temporarily but it does not stop it from coming back and haunting us once again, because denial is a gateway that opens us up to what we most fear, locks it inside us and throws the key away. We can try fighting anxiety fervously but resistance can become assistance and so instead of removing it from us, we actually reinforce it

Simple and common actions we make on almost daily basis can tell us a lot about our level of self steem and patience.

Patience   Does not only concern waiting for something or someone but also concerns reactions to uncomfortable situations and unpleasant people. Our level of nervousness reflects how much lack of auto-control we have when dealing with situations in which the content, the nature of the outside or the outcome might be out of our hands or more into the hands of others or in the hands of time

When going through uncomfortable situations, the first thing we want is to be in peace as quickly as possible. So peace is the goal but through nervousness we create a contradiction between what we want and what we do to get it.

Impatience manifested as anger or rage also turn us more suitable for anxiety because of lack of auto-control. It is auto-control that is responsible for achieving the goal (peace), a concious action that does not take in consideration the level of displeasure of situations (by focusing and screaming out all the discontentment we have by forms of complaints), because when we do that, we reinforce the situations power over us and our distance from peace.

So it is not about ignoring or fighting but achieving the goal through the compatible/appropriate way.
Patience or impatience is not fragmented into patience/impatience for waiting and patience/impatience for dealing with uncomfortable situations. Having the idea that it is fragmented keeps us from understanding that impatience or patience for waiting reinforces impatience or patience for dealing with uncomfortable situations and vice versa

Because it is a non-fragmented element, regardless of what it is reacting to. Thus, by developing more auto-control (maitaining or achieving peace) when comfronted with a particular situation, there is a reinforcement of it (auto-control) within ourselves in order to deal with other kinds of situations and so on

When we feed auto-control, it feeds us back with peace and it is peace that anxiety mostly takes from us

Self Steem    Anxiety uses the uncertainty to create doubts and with doubts it can install itself in us, sometimes to such a level that even the smallest situations or no reason at all invoke anxiety, as if it had become a chronicle condition

Self Steem means it is about the self, not the outside, it is something naturally independent of the outside but we have been making it dependant by expecting facilitators to appear on the way (perhaps by someones compliment or a gift that appears to fall from the sky). So instead of being our own facilitator, we expect others to be and this very action lowers ourselves because in our subconcious, it plants the idea that we are not capable of having confidence if nothing or no one around promotes it

There are countless actions that reinforce anxiety by promoting lack of confidence. This lack of confidence might be manifested in situations which have nothing to do with anxiety but serve as food for anxiety to keep a strong hold of us, because lack of confidence is self doubt and anxiety is a consequence of doubt. It (doubt) does not separate what has to do with anxiety from what has to do with low self steem, by affecting one, it affects the other, thus enhancing anxiety

Anxiety has the power to induce the creation of fantasies in the mind. Although in the beginning, they might be harmless, eventually they become harmful because the mind subconciously searches for possibilities from both sides (positive and negative) resulting in doubt, which is the primary base for anxiety... Meanwhile that´s happening, we become impatient and lower our self steem, thus exercizing no auto-control against the unwelcomed invasion (of thoughts and emotions created by anxiety)

Such fantasies are not part of reality and what is not part of reality should not change our reality
Understanding this is crucial to discredit anxiety, especially taking in consideration that when under the dominion of such fantasies, we are hypnotized to a degree that we actually believe and expect them as reality. Therefore, auto-control and confidence together act as a shield to protect us from letting the mind being taken over by anxiety, a product of doubt reinforced in us by our own behaviour

A change in behaviour is not simply a change in behaviour. For instance, by changing the behaviour from expecting facilitators to push us towards something positive to becoming our own facilitator, we destroy the root that was planted before, that said we needed others encouragement in order to feel encouraged and good,and plant the seed of self encouragement, despite the hardship of situations. Thus, we exercise confidence in the natural way and through confidence we enhance auto-control because the thoughts and emotions (coming from anxiety) that actually controlled us and caused us instability, no longer take place.

All flows smoothly because it is all interconnected, once we not only understand but realize it happening in our lives (when a bad emotion or thought connects with another bad emotion or thought and both enhance each other), then we will be able to dismantle the system of control that anxiety through its agents (low self steem, impatience and others) set up for us.

And when we understand and realize that patience connects to auto-control; auto-control connects to confidence; confidence connects to inner peace; inner peace connects to emotional stability and emotional stability connects to strength and each one enhances the other, then we are able to lead ourselves into a new life, into a better life, into success and 

Into a life free of anxiety, because by exercising patience we gained auto-control, by gaining auto-control we liberated ourselves to think for ourselves(instead of being controlled by unwelcomed thoughts) and by such liberation we get to discredit anxiety and understanding what it really is, a force that has no power and only acts upon us when we do not exercise our power to keep confidence and auto-control when needed (so no fantasies distort our discernment into believing they are true).

Awareness of the connections and juncture of negative with negative and positive with positive within ourselves, manifested through our behaviour (externally, internally or both), is of great importance to start understanding how anxiety tricks us into feeding and giving shelter to it and how we can overpower it.

Soon, it is up to us to persevere in our efforts against anxiety agents, in order to discredit it and see ourselves going through situations which the outcome is uncertain, without being imprisoned and consumed by non-realistic thoughts and negative possibilities and emotions.

Anxiety is complex and tricky but its weaknesses are huge and freedom from it starts with simple actions

Monday, June 5, 2017

The Abyss of Self-Victimization

There is no doubt of the tremendous effects that lifes circumstances have upon us, effects which sometimes can only be perceived a long time afterwards....

But even though they get immune from our perception, at least temporarily, there is a very important element which links directly to them and is completely perceivable and yet gives us a hard time realizing and accepting it.            I am talking about self-victimization.

First of all, it is hard to realize it exists because it bounds so intimately to lifes dissapointments and traumatic experiences, that it generates a continuous reason to feel bad (weather it involves sadness, anger, anxiety or else) with situations from the present and future, some alike the ones that caused us the traumas and dissapointments and some completely different.

Such situations bring us reasons but more than that, they bring back the negative charge that was generated in the past and such charge keeps on building itself in the name of reason/motive, which is wore like a mask so we do not notice the harm we do to ourselves by self-victimization is way worse than the actual situations that occur.

To accept it exists is far from easy, because although we want to overcome what haunt us, we strongly hold on the haunting because it creates a sense of deserving justice/revenge and such sense makes us thirsty for them, while also making us more sensitive, weak and susceptible to more emotional disturbance

Therefore, our present reactions concerning certain situations, our current way of feeling bad when confronting certain circumstances, our bad habits, lack of confidence and hope and so on,  might have roots in the past, in particular events that happened and had the impact of changing us during the moment they happened and continue changing us because self-victmization wires us to them. 

To understand all this, means we are a step closer towards recovery.

There are countless horrible and traumatic situations, both emotional and physical, which none can be measured and which only the hearts that go through them understand completely what it feels like and each heart is different in acting, reacting and perceiving but nevertheless, self-victimization is independable on who we are and what generated it in the first place.

The key to its success might lie on the fact that hearing about it from someone towards us or having the thought that we do self-victimization causes us anger because it instantaneously connects us to that negative baggage that kept getting heavier with time. Remember !!! That this baggage presents itself as reasons/motives and that´s how self-victimization persuades us, camouflaging and generating a false feeling of self-protection.

But why is it false ?

It is false because instead of helping us overcome, it draws us closer and deeper into what hurt us, because it feeds the idea that we have the right to feel we have been deceived, abused and hurt. While it is true we have such right, it never lets us let go of the hurting because it makes us await for some kind of retribution towards others or consolation prize towards ourselves.

While we spend life on this endless waiting, we ignore the fact that we do not overcome past situations because we do not have enough strength but because we choose not to overcome

We do not make such choice conciously at first but as soon as we realize and accept that self-victimization exists in us (if it does), we are concious and from then on, our choices are not a product of persuation by something but are our own

I hope by now, you have understood how dangerous and persuasive self-victimization is and that you are ready to break free from it and overcome what still haunts you

Accepting it, does not conflict with the power that past situations had to hurt us and how unjust they were. It simply allows us to see that the reasons the situations bring at particular moments might be smaller than what is continuously being generated within (even though the situations ceased existing) afterwards

Self-victimization can be perceived explicitly when we begin feeling bad when hearing about something or someone, when thinking about the past bad situations, when going through something the resembles something that happened before or that makes us connect both situations even if they have nothing in common


It can be perceived in small details, when we silently deny that any of our attitudes, bad habits and emotional instability has root in particular events from the past, when we put the problems others make us go through above the problems we generate for ourselves and so on ...

All of the above mean we have not entirely overcome the past. If you are familiar with anything that's been described, do not despair and fall into self-victimizations ultimate weapon, fear .
When our eyes are finally open, it (self-victimization) induces fear upon us, to force us to choose the easiest way, the way of denial. It does so because when we are afraid, we do not realize the fear of our enemy and self-victimization is our enemy

Once you break free from it, you will start to notice your strength, strength that was repressed by the thirsty for justice/revenge/retribution/consolation prize that self-victimization causes.

No matter how great and hurtful the experiences you have encountered, once you stop generating difficulties for yourself, you begin to have a clear vision of the power of what haunts you and the power you have

And understand that it only has power over you as long as you do not reclaim what is emprisoned within yourself, the will to live a more peaceful and happy life ! Which is lost throughout time.

Such will is obscured by self-victimization that wants nothing more than to keep you in a vicious cycle of waiting, denial and fear. This way, you do not use what you have, the strength capable of turning any victim into a warrior, into a winner

Look within yourself and understand yourself and how your past affects you !!!

Know your enemies and be a warrior
Know your strength and be a winner

Emerge from the abyss of self-victimization

You can !

Sunday, May 7, 2017

Inspire And Get Inspired

Each source of hearing and vision stimulates our subconcious and some are so deep or intense that influence us in our conscious state by promoting changes in language behaviour; habits behaviour; emotional and psychological behaviour.

For some of us, a negative stimulation might have a greater impact than positive ones. For instance, when we approach someone who responds to us out of rage or rudeness, it might cause us to lose the tranquility we had before (which not necessarily happens instantaneously, nervousness can be stocked within building itself up over time until it can no longer be contained) and stimulate us to act or desire to act the same way,  it´s as if "if you cannot beat the enemy, join them" and the enemy is not the person but the fruit of emotion that led the person to present such behaviour.

Yet the same length of stimulation or inspiration is not always present when we find situations (weather from our reality or not) that send out positive inspirations.

Perhaps, it´s because the negative stimulations tend to stick more into our conscience. Whereas, the positive ones are enjoyed and appreciated on one hand but on the other hand vanish from our minds almost instantaneously. Thus, we don´t mentally spend time over them as we do over negative stimulations.

For negative stimulations to influence us, they need us to not understand their nature and how they work to get control of us and once in control of us because they increase their manipulative power according to the level of void in perception and understanding we have of them.

On the other hand, positive inspirations increase as we extend our perception and understanding. The less perception and knowledge we have about positive sources of inspiration, the more likely doubts will emerge to trick us into not allow ourselves to get positively inspired as much as we can. Therefore, since negative inspirations need our voidness in understanding, they use manipulative mechanisms to trick us in order to survive and develop within us. Whereas positive inspirations need our understanding to flourish and ramificate.

Our knowledge decreases the effects and efficiency of the negative stimulations we encounter, we maintain tranquility (not only in behaviour but mentally, since repressed negative emotions cause extreme damage) and are able to act the opposed way... If encounter rudness, we give kindness; if encounter selfishness, we give empathy; if encounter rage, we give serenity and so on.

The more understanding, the more we see the great powers of triumph of positive fruits, not just for preserving our well-being but also inspiring others to calm down if they´re in rage; to consider others next time instead of turning away; to be polite to others despite their afflicting problems and so on.

This way, we build a positive web that reaches beyond our personnal linkages and encounters, and increase the chance of diminishing surrounding negative stimulations for ourselves and for others.

This understanding exists when we not only perceive the obvious effects of negative and positive attitudes (in form of action, thought or emotion) but also allow ourselves to extend our perception to understand not only the outcome of being inspired positively or negatively but also the connections that such inspirations make inside us.

Since one negative or positive emotion or state of being is always linked to another... Anxiety - Nervousness; Worry - Fear; Anger - Apathy; Love - Peace; Patience - Calmness; Generosity - Kindness and so on. Connections which determine the outcome of situations and the outcome of our mental health by the time the situations are over.

Based on such understanding, we manage to turn situations around, from negative to positive, perhaps not always entirely but in a way that we don´t get emotionally damaged and not add more fuel to the fire that burn us all.

The world around us teach a lot of bad things but there´s a lot of good lessons to learn from it as well, it´s up to us to perceive them and not let them escape and vanish from our minds.

A positive inspiration by something we see, think, read or hear can help us gather a level and extension of knowledge we couldn´t imagine possible before and by now if you ask yourself how, perhaps you should consider contrasting the opposite sides:

For instance, if you saw an act of kindness, imagine that the person acted based on anger or rudeness, such attitude could only be generated by a damaged emotional state but with kindness the person put themselves above their afflicting problem and did not get negatively inspired. Thus did not inspire the negative as well. This is the real strength, when we are capable of such accomplishment.

We all have such capability but we have to believe and persevere with knowledge and practice because only one or the other favors contractions about what we want/need and what we actually do.

Behind attitudes, there´s a world of webs of emotions and thoughts that interconnect with each other to determine outcomes.

It´s essential to understand such connections within ourselves and be conscious of the good ones and their benefits and the bad ones and their damaging effects and tricks, because on contrary to chemistry of inorganic substances, negative emotions and thoughts attract more negative as the positive ones attract more positive. However, when we have self-control and knowledge to see how negative emotions and thoughts trick us into cultivating them, we´re even able to get positively inspired by surrounding negative stimulations, because by understanding what generated it in a person or persons, we protect ourselves from having the same or worst happen to us... We don´t absorb the negative stimulations but cultivate and send out positive inspirations generated by ourselves by our own internal reasons.

So let yourself know the internal corners of your being, get inspired by your own and other´s positive attitudes but also positively inspired by the negative ones. Knowledge will pave the way but you have to walk or inertia will hold you in frustration from reaching your true potential.

Inspire And Get Inspired !!!

Friday, March 24, 2017

Transcendence Over Denial

For Reflection: 

It is more convenient to treat symptoms than to treat actual causes and when symptoms are minor, they are easily ignored.

The body reveals symptoms from our biological system
as attitudes reveal symptoms from our mental state.

As minor physical symptoms can reveal great problems, 
so does minor non-good attitudes reveal great threats, threats against our own well-being.

Apathy: The action of indifference towards someone else's pain, hardship or misleading. If the heart is uncapable of feeling for someone (anyone, including strangers), it doesn't feel remorse when it generates an attitude hurtful to others.

Apathy is a doorway to lying, by lying we use each other and the gains of it bring denial as an attempt to comfort the mind. 

Using: Lifeless objects are made for using, not beings of life. Yet we've been engaging in friendships, relationships and businesses in which benefits are not intended to be mutual or close to mutual but only to get us to receive more and give less, to feel superior and others inferior, to control relations not by essence of the heart but by convenient strategies that unable us to use others to achieve some kind of success.

The usage of words from doubt and falseness to affirm something to generate gains is a tool of convincing others of non-existent Love, Care and Sincerity.

When we deprive others of such fruits by giving them the impression they exist, we also deprive ourselves of living what we receive to the full potential, in a deeper and purer sense. In which, there's no conflict between what's concealed in our hearts and what we receive from the outside.

That being said, no matter how great amount of wonderful things we receive by using others and lying to them, it does not promote well-being and the first principle of happiness is well-being, regardless of any aspect of believe (religious or scientific) or style of life.

Perhaps the modern man's dissatisfaction comes from this whole world of non-existant aspects promoted to create a better reality, perhaps that's why relationships are easily broken and friendships easily dismantled. 

Lying: It has become an almost daily activity and serves several purposes, life's circumstances usually are seen as what pushes us to it, so we can: take advantange on someone; help hide someone's mistake; get better grades by cheating; convince someone we did something we didn't; convince someone we didn't do something we did. All this in order to escape problems or avoid some sort of uncomfortable situation but how can we feel comfortable if our mind is deceived as well ? 

It is deceived because although we know our untruthful acts, we manipulate our mind to look at the gains and ignore the means by which they were obtained, even if it's composed of the suffering and misleading of others.

Nevertheless, our denial of the bad seeds we plant and bad fruits we spread, in the end we know that our achievements are based on lies and pain we generate in others by the consequences of our dishonesty.

Remember ! Nobody heals by hurting others; Nobody becomes strong by diminishing others; Nobody is truly happy by inflicting pain in someone else's heart. Remember !

When we lie to others, we also lie to ourselves and whatever advantange is gained, minor or major, it is the product of a non-existant reality. Thus if something doesn't exist, it cannot contribute to our well-being 
But lying is a beast of many heads. Hence denial is born.

Denial: It's a convenient tool to avoid facing what makes us dissapointed and ashamed of ourselves. The usage of denial twists our perception of reality. It makes us believe that admitting flaws and mistakes diminishes us when in fact what really diminishes us is not acknowledging them.

By denying our bad attitudes, we condition ourselves to move towards an unstable and weak mental/emotional state. This happens so because we don't allow ourselves to face our own conciousness about the things we've done. In this case, everytime we do something dishonest, we accumulate denial and in turn accumulate weakness.

Those who don't fight, don't get strong !
This is the basic principle why denial instead of strengthening us, weakens us.

With time, the fear of facing our own conciousness drives us away from even perceiving dishonest attitudes as bad and so we become almost machanized to fill up desiring voids no matter what needs to be done and when we have no consideration for other people's feelings and life situation they are found in, we end up damaging and ruining them for benefits for ourselves.

Benefits which although stimulate more denial by making it easier to do so, also brings the constant feeling of dissatisfaction because denial can hide what we don't wanna face but cannot erase it.

When we toss aside peace of spirit, the accomplishments based on dishonesty can be immense and yet not able to reduce the feeling of dissatisfaction.

On the other hand, when we trascend over denial, we learn that in order to enhance ourselves, we need to stop diminishing ourselves( by denying reality); in order to strengthen ourselves, we shouldn't take admitting mistakes as a weakness but the denial of them as one.

Trascendence over denial shall bring the true enjoyment and satisfaction of our accomplishments because in the process, no falseness we generated, no heart we hurt and so reality is not split in two pieces but stays as one, one that we feel happy about.