Monday, June 5, 2017

The Abyss of Self-Victimization

There is no doubt of the tremendous effects that lifes circumstances have upon us, effects which sometimes can only be perceived a long time afterwards....

But even though they get immune from our perception, at least temporarily, there is a very important element which links directly to them and is completely perceivable and yet gives us a hard time realizing and accepting it.            I am talking about self-victimization.

First of all, it is hard to realize it exists because it bounds so intimately to lifes dissapointments and traumatic experiences, that it generates a continuous reason to feel bad (weather it involves sadness, anger, anxiety or else) with situations from the present and future, some alike the ones that caused us the traumas and dissapointments and some completely different.

Such situations bring us reasons but more than that, they bring back the negative charge that was generated in the past and such charge keeps on building itself in the name of reason/motive, which is wore like a mask so we do not notice the harm we do to ourselves by self-victimization is way worse than the actual situations that occur.

To accept it exists is far from easy, because although we want to overcome what haunt us, we strongly hold on the haunting because it creates a sense of deserving justice/revenge and such sense makes us thirsty for them, while also making us more sensitive, weak and susceptible to more emotional disturbance

Therefore, our present reactions concerning certain situations, our current way of feeling bad when confronting certain circumstances, our bad habits, lack of confidence and hope and so on,  might have roots in the past, in particular events that happened and had the impact of changing us during the moment they happened and continue changing us because self-victmization wires us to them. 

To understand all this, means we are a step closer towards recovery.

There are countless horrible and traumatic situations, both emotional and physical, which none can be measured and which only the hearts that go through them understand completely what it feels like and each heart is different in acting, reacting and perceiving but nevertheless, self-victimization is independable on who we are and what generated it in the first place.

The key to its success might lie on the fact that hearing about it from someone towards us or having the thought that we do self-victimization causes us anger because it instantaneously connects us to that negative baggage that kept getting heavier with time. Remember !!! That this baggage presents itself as reasons/motives and that´s how self-victimization persuades us, camouflaging and generating a false feeling of self-protection.

But why is it false ?

It is false because instead of helping us overcome, it draws us closer and deeper into what hurt us, because it feeds the idea that we have the right to feel we have been deceived, abused and hurt. While it is true we have such right, it never lets us let go of the hurting because it makes us await for some kind of retribution towards others or consolation prize towards ourselves.

While we spend life on this endless waiting, we ignore the fact that we do not overcome past situations because we do not have enough strength but because we choose not to overcome

We do not make such choice conciously at first but as soon as we realize and accept that self-victimization exists in us (if it does), we are concious and from then on, our choices are not a product of persuation by something but are our own

I hope by now, you have understood how dangerous and persuasive self-victimization is and that you are ready to break free from it and overcome what still haunts you

Accepting it, does not conflict with the power that past situations had to hurt us and how unjust they were. It simply allows us to see that the reasons the situations bring at particular moments might be smaller than what is continuously being generated within (even though the situations ceased existing) afterwards

Self-victimization can be perceived explicitly when we begin feeling bad when hearing about something or someone, when thinking about the past bad situations, when going through something the resembles something that happened before or that makes us connect both situations even if they have nothing in common

Or 

It can be perceived in small details, when we silently deny that any of our attitudes, bad habits and emotional instability has root in particular events from the past, when we put the problems others make us go through above the problems we generate for ourselves and so on ...

All of the above mean we have not entirely overcome the past. If you are familiar with anything that's been described, do not despair and fall into self-victimizations ultimate weapon, fear .
When our eyes are finally open, it (self-victimization) induces fear upon us, to force us to choose the easiest way, the way of denial. It does so because when we are afraid, we do not realize the fear of our enemy and self-victimization is our enemy

Once you break free from it, you will start to notice your strength, strength that was repressed by the thirsty for justice/revenge/retribution/consolation prize that self-victimization causes.

No matter how great and hurtful the experiences you have encountered, once you stop generating difficulties for yourself, you begin to have a clear vision of the power of what haunts you and the power you have

And understand that it only has power over you as long as you do not reclaim what is emprisoned within yourself, the will to live a more peaceful and happy life ! Which is lost throughout time.

Such will is obscured by self-victimization that wants nothing more than to keep you in a vicious cycle of waiting, denial and fear. This way, you do not use what you have, the strength capable of turning any victim into a warrior, into a winner

Look within yourself and understand yourself and how your past affects you !!!

Know your enemies and be a warrior
Know your strength and be a winner

Emerge from the abyss of self-victimization

You can !

Sunday, May 7, 2017

Inspire And Get Inspired

Each source of hearing and vision stimulates our subconcious and some are so deep or intense that influence us in our conscious state by promoting changes in language behaviour; habits behaviour; emotional and psychological behaviour.

For some of us, a negative stimulation might have a greater impact than positive ones. For instance, when we approach someone who responds to us out of rage or rudeness, it might cause us to lose the tranquility we had before (which not necessarily happens instantaneously, nervousness can be stocked within building itself up over time until it can no longer be contained) and stimulate us to act or desire to act the same way,  it´s as if "if you cannot beat the enemy, join them" and the enemy is not the person but the fruit of emotion that led the person to present such behaviour.

Yet the same length of stimulation or inspiration is not always present when we find situations (weather from our reality or not) that send out positive inspirations.

Perhaps, it´s because the negative stimulations tend to stick more into our conscience. Whereas, the positive ones are enjoyed and appreciated on one hand but on the other hand vanish from our minds almost instantaneously. Thus, we don´t mentally spend time over them as we do over negative stimulations.

For negative stimulations to influence us, they need us to not understand their nature and how they work to get control of us and once in control of us because they increase their manipulative power according to the level of void in perception and understanding we have of them.

On the other hand, positive inspirations increase as we extend our perception and understanding. The less perception and knowledge we have about positive sources of inspiration, the more likely doubts will emerge to trick us into not allow ourselves to get positively inspired as much as we can. Therefore, since negative inspirations need our voidness in understanding, they use manipulative mechanisms to trick us in order to survive and develop within us. Whereas positive inspirations need our understanding to flourish and ramificate.

Our knowledge decreases the effects and efficiency of the negative stimulations we encounter, we maintain tranquility (not only in behaviour but mentally, since repressed negative emotions cause extreme damage) and are able to act the opposed way... If encounter rudness, we give kindness; if encounter selfishness, we give empathy; if encounter rage, we give serenity and so on.

The more understanding, the more we see the great powers of triumph of positive fruits, not just for preserving our well-being but also inspiring others to calm down if they´re in rage; to consider others next time instead of turning away; to be polite to others despite their afflicting problems and so on.

This way, we build a positive web that reaches beyond our personnal linkages and encounters, and increase the chance of diminishing surrounding negative stimulations for ourselves and for others.

This understanding exists when we not only perceive the obvious effects of negative and positive attitudes (in form of action, thought or emotion) but also allow ourselves to extend our perception to understand not only the outcome of being inspired positively or negatively but also the connections that such inspirations make inside us.

Since one negative or positive emotion or state of being is always linked to another... Anxiety - Nervousness; Worry - Fear; Anger - Apathy; Love - Peace; Patience - Calmness; Generosity - Kindness and so on. Connections which determine the outcome of situations and the outcome of our mental health by the time the situations are over.

Based on such understanding, we manage to turn situations around, from negative to positive, perhaps not always entirely but in a way that we don´t get emotionally damaged and not add more fuel to the fire that burn us all.

The world around us teach a lot of bad things but there´s a lot of good lessons to learn from it as well, it´s up to us to perceive them and not let them escape and vanish from our minds.

A positive inspiration by something we see, think, read or hear can help us gather a level and extension of knowledge we couldn´t imagine possible before and by now if you ask yourself how, perhaps you should consider contrasting the opposite sides:

For instance, if you saw an act of kindness, imagine that the person acted based on anger or rudeness, such attitude could only be generated by a damaged emotional state but with kindness the person put themselves above their afflicting problem and did not get negatively inspired. Thus did not inspire the negative as well. This is the real strength, when we are capable of such accomplishment.

We all have such capability but we have to believe and persevere with knowledge and practice because only one or the other favors contractions about what we want/need and what we actually do.

Behind attitudes, there´s a world of webs of emotions and thoughts that interconnect with each other to determine outcomes.

It´s essential to understand such connections within ourselves and be conscious of the good ones and their benefits and the bad ones and their damaging effects and tricks, because on contrary to chemistry of inorganic substances, negative emotions and thoughts attract more negative as the positive ones attract more positive. However, when we have self-control and knowledge to see how negative emotions and thoughts trick us into cultivating them, we´re even able to get positively inspired by surrounding negative stimulations, because by understanding what generated it in a person or persons, we protect ourselves from having the same or worst happen to us... We don´t absorb the negative stimulations but cultivate and send out positive inspirations generated by ourselves by our own internal reasons.

So let yourself know the internal corners of your being, get inspired by your own and other´s positive attitudes but also positively inspired by the negative ones. Knowledge will pave the way but you have to walk or inertia will hold you in frustration from reaching your true potential.

Inspire And Get Inspired !!!


Friday, March 24, 2017

Transcendence Over Denial

For Reflection: 

It is more convenient to treat symptoms than to treat actual causes and when symptoms are minor, they are easily ignored.

The body reveals symptoms from our biological system
as attitudes reveal symptoms from our mental state.

As minor physical symptoms can reveal great problems, 
so does minor non-good attitudes reveal great threats, threats against our own well-being.

Apathy: The action of indifference towards someone else's pain, hardship or misleading. If the heart is uncapable of feeling for someone (anyone, including strangers), it doesn't feel remorse when it generates an attitude hurtful to others.

Apathy is a doorway to lying, by lying we use each other and the gains of it bring denial as an attempt to comfort the mind. 

Using: Lifeless objects are made for using, not beings of life. Yet we've been engaging in friendships, relationships and businesses in which benefits are not intended to be mutual or close to mutual but only to get us to receive more and give less, to feel superior and others inferior, to control relations not by essence of the heart but by convenient strategies that unable us to use others to achieve some kind of success.

The usage of words from doubt and falseness to affirm something to generate gains is a tool of convincing others of non-existent Love, Care and Sincerity.

When we deprive others of such fruits by giving them the impression they exist, we also deprive ourselves of living what we receive to the full potential, in a deeper and purer sense. In which, there's no conflict between what's concealed in our hearts and what we receive from the outside.

That being said, no matter how great amount of wonderful things we receive by using others and lying to them, it does not promote well-being and the first principle of happiness is well-being, regardless of any aspect of believe (religious or scientific) or style of life.

Perhaps the modern man's dissatisfaction comes from this whole world of non-existant aspects promoted to create a better reality, perhaps that's why relationships are easily broken and friendships easily dismantled. 

Lying: It has become an almost daily activity and serves several purposes, life's circumstances usually are seen as what pushes us to it, so we can: take advantange on someone; help hide someone's mistake; get better grades by cheating; convince someone we did something we didn't; convince someone we didn't do something we did. All this in order to escape problems or avoid some sort of uncomfortable situation but how can we feel comfortable if our mind is deceived as well ? 

It is deceived because although we know our untruthful acts, we manipulate our mind to look at the gains and ignore the means by which they were obtained, even if it's composed of the suffering and misleading of others.

Nevertheless, our denial of the bad seeds we plant and bad fruits we spread, in the end we know that our achievements are based on lies and pain we generate in others by the consequences of our dishonesty.

Remember ! Nobody heals by hurting others; Nobody becomes strong by diminishing others; Nobody is truly happy by inflicting pain in someone else's heart. Remember !

When we lie to others, we also lie to ourselves and whatever advantange is gained, minor or major, it is the product of a non-existant reality. Thus if something doesn't exist, it cannot contribute to our well-being 
But lying is a beast of many heads. Hence denial is born.

Denial: It's a convenient tool to avoid facing what makes us dissapointed and ashamed of ourselves. The usage of denial twists our perception of reality. It makes us believe that admitting flaws and mistakes diminishes us when in fact what really diminishes us is not acknowledging them.

By denying our bad attitudes, we condition ourselves to move towards an unstable and weak mental/emotional state. This happens so because we don't allow ourselves to face our own conciousness about the things we've done. In this case, everytime we do something dishonest, we accumulate denial and in turn accumulate weakness.

Those who don't fight, don't get strong !
This is the basic principle why denial instead of strengthening us, weakens us.

With time, the fear of facing our own conciousness drives us away from even perceiving dishonest attitudes as bad and so we become almost machanized to fill up desiring voids no matter what needs to be done and when we have no consideration for other people's feelings and life situation they are found in, we end up damaging and ruining them for benefits for ourselves.

Benefits which although stimulate more denial by making it easier to do so, also brings the constant feeling of dissatisfaction because denial can hide what we don't wanna face but cannot erase it.

When we toss aside peace of spirit, the accomplishments based on dishonesty can be immense and yet not able to reduce the feeling of dissatisfaction.

On the other hand, when we trascend over denial, we learn that in order to enhance ourselves, we need to stop diminishing ourselves( by denying reality); in order to strengthen ourselves, we shouldn't take admitting mistakes as a weakness but the denial of them as one.

Trascendence over denial shall bring the true enjoyment and satisfaction of our accomplishments because in the process, no falseness we generated, no heart we hurt and so reality is not split in two pieces but stays as one, one that we feel happy about.


Sunday, October 30, 2016

Bringing Back Forgotten Values

The advance of technology and consequently the creation of the modern era, caused many changes in the world, not just in the environment that surround us but also changes in the way we behave and how we communicate with each other.

The virtual world has become a big part of our lives and through it, we learned to develop certain skills such as saying meaningful words without really meaning them or even understanding them and we also learned to hide truths from each other, since doing it behind a screen is much easier... But these retrogressive skills learned did not stop in the virtual world, they expanded to life outside of the screen as well, which allowed us to act and speak in convenient insincere ways (under any circumstances), which often implies lying to get some kind of social advantage. 

Our lack of sincerity not only has distanced us from each other but also has distanced us from feeling well or working on feeling well with ourselves. Because, we feel so pressured to work on the image we expose, that we have been denying who we really are and how we really feel. 

Without sincerity, it´s not just others that feel unable to trust us, we also feel unable to trust them (even when they have no idea we´ve been insincere), because if we did trust them, sincerity would be seen as a top priority.

That way, even though we are close to each other, we feel as much distant as if we were strangers.

The modern world has also allowed us to get an amount of attention which was never possible in the past. This possibility of great attention fascinated us, to the point we forgot how it is like to be mutual. It is not just about mutual feelings, it is about mutual communication, which seems to be fading away because we only want to be known and let know.

Someone tell us they have been in pain, right away we mention our pain as well
Someone tell us about a trip they had, right away, we mention our trips as well
Someone tell us about where they study or where they work and right away we mention our studying or working area as well

Whatever happened to the
" how bad is it or where is it ? "
" how was it ? Did you enjoy it ? "
" do you like it ? what are you looking for in the future ? Tell me more about it ? " ?

Simple questions which we would like anyone to ask us and yet we do not bother using them... It is as if we do not talk anymore but simply exchange information, without interest in knowing, only interested in letting know. 

We always find time and opportunities to make ourselves known, which is not wrong but about knowing and getting to know ?

When a social connection is not mutual, it is unbalanced, lighter for one side and heavier for the other side and the whole social structure of community becomes disintegrated and filled with void.

In a world without mutuality, bonds are difficult to form and when they do, they are easily broken. Isn´t that what we have been experiencing ?

It has become very easy for us to use replacement as a way of earning a more convenient life, we replace friends of today with tomorrow´s new friends, we replace the relationships of today with tomorrow´s new relationships. It has become a cycle that has no end, we are constantly acquiring new social contacts and status and yet we are not able to keep any of them. 

Perhaps if we bring back mutuality as a principle of life, we will once again be able to form and keep meaningful aspects of social life.

Another value, we seem to have forgotten is humbleness and part of it has to do with our lack of mutuality, since we don´t form bonds, we act as being free of responsibility for what we cause. We feel in the right to be wrong and pose ourselves as right so we dont have to apologise for being wrong. It´s as if acknowledging being wrong diminish us but in fact, it´s the refusal to acknowledge that diminish us, if it didn´t, we wouldn´t look for any distraction or way of denial about it.

Coming to think about it, without mutuality we tend to be less humble towards each other and without sincerity we tend to be less mutual with each other and without humbleness we tend to be less sincere and less mutual as well. All of these absences  are interconnected, they influence one another and not rarely dictate how far one goes.


In the modern world, we humankind have chosen machines and pets over each other, to be company, friends and family members. Machines exist to be used, not taken as a personal social member, pets exist to be loved and treated with care but not to replace someone from our own kind.

Our social structure is in ruins and relationships unbalanced but if we bring back forgotten values, such as sincerity, mutuality and humbleness, we will be able to restore it and not let the world mold us but be the ones to mold the world. 

Such change starts with us, let´s not wait for it to start with someone else. Let´s bring back the forgotten values and hopefully others will do it as well. 





Sunday, September 4, 2016

Auto-Oppression

Some believe it´s life´s negative situations that cause someone to be oppressed, oppressed with the kind of feelings and thoughts that consume energy, unlike the kind of feelings and thoughts that bring energy... Because it´s only natural for what is bad to put a heavy weight on somebody´s heart and for what is good to provide lightness. 

Although it´s all true, that weight doubles it´s heaviness when we give it energy to do so... Because in every life´s situation, reaction must be considered as much as action. Thus, actions alone, meaning life´s situation, cannot determine if there will be heaviness or lightness, they only trigger the process of us reacting in order to give in energy or to preserve and use it to achieve lightness in the best scale we can.

If in every bad action, bad reaction is considered the appropriate answer, it becomes impossible not to conceive heaviness within, since we give in more energy to the negative source that already managed to take some away.

Simple reactions considered appropriate answers, such as excuses, complaint and blaming act as energy transmitters from us to the consuming heaviness, which makes us auto-oppress ourselves while believing it´s a healthy way of expression.

It´s true there must be expression since repressed feelings can triple the heaviness that might have been already doubled but the expression must not exist in such a way that it joins hands with the negative source, we wanted nothing to do with in the first place. We cannot choose what actions will appear on our way but we can choose how we will react.

When a bad present or past situation is taking in consideration, almost instantaneously, complaints are made because we feel in the right to do so.... But such expression is tricky because at the same time it allows us to feel a sense of lightness afterwards, it bonds to us in such a way that the next time we remember or talk about that situation, there´s a tendency that we will complain again and so such reaction never seems to cease, specially considering that life´s negative situations are non-stop, even if are absent for a period of time.

The accumulation of this repetitive reaction cannot result in nothing but heaviness. Instead of giving energy to the source that is already taking it from us, we shall preserve our energy by not complaining and using it to be applied to an attitude we can have to restore the situation, to forgive the ones who hurt us and to let goof what keeps disturbing us from time to time, as long as complaints live on, we do not let go. 

Complaints live on when we use excuses, excuses not only to make complaints but excuses to take away our responsibility to overcome a situation, they provide avoidance from facing a damaging way of living which make us comfortable feeling heavy and oppressed because someone or some people or some circumstances brought us the reason.

It´s as if although we wanna be free from heaviness, we bond to it because we feel in the right to express our hurt by doing so.

Such way of expression is a way of auto-oppression, since it´s no longer the situations themselves that emprison us but it´s our own repetitive and accumulative negative reactions.

In the end, another consuming element is born, the blame, the blame we put on others or on ourselves. Complaints and excuses serve as keys to trigger this blame and make us destined to carry heaviness throughout time. When we stop the complaints and excuses we can save ourselvess from being bond to heaviness. 

We make our own destiny when we choose how to react and weather there will be lightness or heaviness.

Friday, February 12, 2016

Perseverance




Perseverance is the key to freedom and success

But sometimes our surroundings and the condition of our reality work as a big dark cloud,
blocking hopes from reaching our thoughts and blocking any sign of faith from reaching our heart.

When we have the will, that dark cloud oppresses us, bringing us any reason to remain in pessimism.

When we do not have the will, it suffocates us and traps us into the realistic reasons that circumstances in life bring us, making us believe that any thought that differ from what reality influences, is a thought not worth having.

And many times we fall for it and believe it´s not worth having hopes and faith because as we accept defeat, we start seeing hopes and faith as nothing but  frustration mechanisms.

And such frustration mechanisms can be intensified when no sign of hopes or changing is around.

Not all is in our hands but what lives in the heart and what leaves the heart can be, because hopes and faith are not mechanisms to get frustrated. They are mechanisms to rise us up.

As much as they can be seen and felt so intensified as frustrations, they can also be seen and felt so intensified as weapons

Weapons which do not kill but heal and bring more life

Weapons to be  used during our  last drop of strength, during the last drop of hope, during the last drop of patience. 

Because when all around says all is lost and hopeless....

Only through perseverance,we can say: by each step I give, I walk towards a better future and if life is dark now, I will not wait for any lamps to shine a light, I will shine it myself because the creator of earth and heaven gave me authority to walk around darkness and be light.

Life can be so overwhelming that we may succumb to darkness without even noticing at first, by speaking words made of negative and seeing no danger in it, by bringing death to dreams instead of strengthening their life, by waking up each day accepting a darker day than yesterday.

Sometimes the dark may not only be within but also on the reality of life itself and so walking in darkness is unavoidable but such darkness only steals our strength and dreams when we forget that we have light.

Light strong enough to lead us out of darkness or in some cases, strong enough to lead us through it until peace is restored.

When perseverance is unconditional, all the scars that life brings to the heart will be healed and by each scar healed, more strength will the heart have and more prosperous life will be because real prosperity is having what We need during the darkest  times and when the heart has what it needs, all the rest can be gained and achieved.

Perseverance is a matter of hope and faith and they work to restore and heal.
If You still can´t see it, stop accepting defeat !!!!
Because victory is reachable and perseverance is the key !!!!

Saturday, May 2, 2015

Know Your Source

The mind is under constant temptation
And irritation emerges due to the disturbance
It´s like you´re at home and a number calls to give you free things but free things which you don´t want anything to do with and the phone rings constantly
As time goes by , irritation emerges within and you end up answering the call although you were trying to avoid it all along

Now think about " home " as being your mind and the " constant calls " as being temptations
The temptations like the calls , want to give you something you don´t want but after so much struggle , you give up because you let irritation get to you and when it does , peace runs away to the point you can´t remember what it was like to have it

The everyday temptations start before the eyes and ears are presented with something negative .
It starts with the mind , with thoughts that don´t belong to the heart .

And when you start living the day , if you pay close attention , you will notice how the tv shows you watch say that betraying is normal , that lying is okay , that being selfish will lead you to success , that being greedy is part of human nature , that loving gets you hurt , that getting drunk and having meaningless sex is the way to live a happy life .....

Anything that is meaningless does not have the power to build something , specially something so meaningful as happiness . What it can only do is bring a feeling of void and unsatisfaction after a brief moment of temporary joy .

What is the reason for betraying ?
Getting personal satisfaction ! But how does a person get satisfaction from hurting and leaving someone on their side to be with a stranger on the other side ? Morality is not a rule to be followed but rather a meaningful way of life to be lived 

What is the reason of greed ?
Not only economic but also status satisfaction ! But neither one of them or them combined can make you satisfied with yourself , You cannot be satisfied with yourself when all you care about is outside

What is the reason for being selfish and for lying ?
Having more for yourself , having advantages and being ahead of others !
But what is the point of being ahead of others and still leave yourself behind ? 
You can be on the top , in first place and still feel like you are on a bottomless pit 

Love hurts ?
There´s people who speak about it but what is the background information they have about Love ?
From songs and movies ? from relationship dissapointments ?
Love is the biggest and the most benign of God´s fruits , it can´t be understood based on human opnions about what it is , to understand it ,  you need to get closer to the source of it

When you open your eyes and pay close attention
You will notice how the tv shows and music industry indocrinate people into having them as the main source of information and the main influential source of their everyday life
The temptation messages they send are real ! And suppose to persuade you just like the disturbing calls , remember ?

Although you may not agree with such messages , you watch them and listen to them constantly until one day during a difficult situation or opposed circumstances you´re facing , you end up acting just like the tv show preached or like the singer sang the song 
And the sad thing is that you may not notice it right away because when you don´t know your heart which is supposed to be the source of your attitudes and reactions , you let any outside source get into you as if it was your own 

When you don´t know your source , it gets easier for temptations to find their way in 
But when you do know your source , the phone can ring constantly everyday 
But you will be in the most peaceful state of being 

Know Your Source !!!!!!